The most epically interesting #blog post ever that you can't afford to miss

Have you read the most interesting blog post ever? This blog post is SO full of #win. Maybe the world's greatest blog post, written by a woman who knows.  This brilliant young woman in backwoods TN is about to shut things down. You do NOT want to miss this epic blog post. You will not believe what this woman in Tennessee just did.

Here are just 3 reasons why you do not want to miss this:

1. A woman in Tennessee says the internet ISN'T making us stupid.

2. The same woman in Tennessee who said the internet isn't making us stupid has something else to say.

3. A certain woman in Tennessee believes that The Internet Really Believes that we are all stupid.

Do you believe what this woman in Tennessee just said? She said WE are smarter than the internet believes. What that means might make you spazz. This freckled, frugal woman in Tennessee just might make you think twice about internet content. I hope I'd be as courageous as this woman who thinks WE ARE THE SMARTEST creatures ever.

Ever think about whether snails ever cry? Forget it. Listen to this woman in her thirties. To the Internet Who Curates Its Content: this woman thinks You're Dumb.

Here are a few things to remember if you ever run into this woman in Tennessee who thinks Internet Curation is Lame:

1. Internet curation isn't All Wrong. It's just the part about Headline Marketing.

2. Headline Marketing? Never heard of it? This woman in Tennessee says, You can't afford NOT to!

3. That woman in Tennessee is Plain Tired of Headline Marketing.

4. Headlines don't always have to use numbers and superlatives, says a woman in Tennessee!

5. Tennessee Internet Woman says sometimes stories need no qualification.

6. Caffeinating the headlines doesn't make for a better story!!!!!! says a woman in Tennessee.

Unidentified woman in Sarasota reading about winter storms up North

That woman might have gotten a little TOO real for the internet. That is ONE story you will NOT see on the 6 o'clock news. Woman in Tennessee: 'I know I have homicidal feelings toward Headline Marketing.'

But that's not all she says.  She says she thinks this content curation is still evolving. Did you catch that? A Bible-thumping woman in Tennessee believes in evolution! Wait, was the prior headline just an #epic fail? Ever wondered what does evolution have to do with internet curation? A woman in Tennessee is ready to Get Real about headline marketing evolution. And she won't go away. In 10 years, we'll be glad that woman in Tennessee spoke up about that one thing that mattered.

Whatever it was.

Totes magotes share this on every social media interface you have or you will die like everyone who didn't forward the e-mail chains with the punctuation marks that formed the shape of a robot in 1998.

The worst yearbook ever

Loverpants was consulting his high school yearbook tonight to see if Mayor Hawthorne had tagged up a page. Because let's see what this indie DJ/R&B scenester might have scrawled across the cover page...Was it the ol' standby "Have an awesome summer?" or did he make specific reference to that time in Chemistry when they ended up lab partners with the possessed Bunsen burner OOHHH MANNN, remember? He didn't autograph my mister's book, though, turns out. Sadface.

So Loverpants pulled out his college yearbook. I know what you're thinking. The? Who needs a yearbook when they're 22? You need a loan repayment plan, not an index of all the times your name appears for Comic Book club.

I don't know whose idea it was for our wee little liberal arts college to publish a yearbook, but I am almost certain it was compiled by a rising sophomore who was lucky enough to work in Meadville, PA during the summer, scrapping together photos in templates that scream Microsoft Word 95.

Friends and countrymen, this yearbook is possibly the worst. And it's nobody's fault. It's just clearly a chore more than some thing that chums were toiling over in a Yearbook Office, doubling over their inside jokes, the walls papered like the office of a mad man with hilarious outtakes. This yearbook? Well, just take a look:

graduation

We start at graduation. Contrary to popular belief, we should graduate the students first and then remind them of the events that led up to that. Nonlinear narratives what what!  There is also a Dr. Seuss quote, most likely from Oh! The Places You'll Go, because yearbook editors are required by law to include said wisdom in excerpted form.

football

Then there is this spread of the schoolies. It is very cute. These people are now all very wealthy and successful and hold many patents. This is all because they spent their Saturdays rooting for their liberal arts college football team, obviously. I, on the other hand, was very busy Not Having Fun because library heaven on a Saturday afternoon with no one there. There are $3 in my wallet and I do not hold any patents in my name.

CLC

Can you spot yours truly in the above photo? I am in front with the fleece vest that I must have ordered from Stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, for my leadership conferences in 94 degrees. I seem unable to follow suit with the pinkie gang symbol that everyone else in the photo is throwing up, because my Coolio dreadlocks apparently give me enough street cred. According to the caption, we are a bunch of crazy leaders--but not as crazy as the aspect ratio stretch on this photo.

sowa

Awww. Did someone not get the memo that the dress code for senior portraits was business casual? P.S. I had a HUGE crush on overalls there. He played soccer. Swoon.

reunion

You have to love the captions in Helvetica Bold that remind us about homecomings: they are for making memories and remembering old friends. Just in case you thought it was for acquiring dementia or pillaging new friends. WRONG!

markiemark

Finally an honest caption about LaHood. Oh, but the caption for the photo of the Schultz Staff is misleading. There is an Elmo impostor in the photo. Pssh. Clearly our definitions of "picture perfect" are different.

lamarcus

Let's hear it for LaMarcus who is seen in a still image both catching AND running. I know. You were thinking, that only happens in .gif files, but the year is 2000 here, people. There are still stores dedicated to renting movies on VHS and my dad is still warning me not to date men who have pagers because they are all drug dealers.

swimmer

Say what? I thought that anonymous possibly female swimmer was just adjusting her spectacles so she could take a really close look at whether Geico really can save her a bundle on car insurance.

IMG_20140111_175705

This is by far the most offensive page. There are no signs of life, much less a singular gator, nor a gator that possesses a home, nor many gators who possess a home with workout equipment, in which case it should read "Home of the Gators." Sigh.

I'm going to try and find my college yearbook and see how many people I don't know because library heaven on a Saturday in 2002.

RIP Bernie Macbook, Jr. #mac

IMG_20140106_193545Bernie MacBook Jr. passed away the evening of Sunday, January 6, 2014 in his home, surrounded by loved ones. MacBook Jr. is survived by his owners, the FamiLee. He is the son of the late Bernie MacBook Sr. MacBook Jr. arrived to the home of the FamiLee in Boston in 2010. He was adopted by the FamiLee through the Macintosh Refurbished program; his birth family remains unknown. As one of the first iterations of the MacBooks, he was proud to have served as a heavyweight champion of his class, crushing the likes of iPads and MacBook Airs. MacBook Jr. served in the U.S. Armed Forces against Malware and never retired from active duty. He earned his master's degree in Facebook and also scored three virtual golden trophies in the final round of Princess Enchantment Castle on GirlsGoGames.com. He served as a portal for countless awkward conversations with in-laws via Skype and his reserves for awkward family photo documentation were boundless. By far his crowning achievement was allowing Kendra to write her memoir, FamiLee on his software; MacBook Jr. will no doubt smile from Compooper Heaven once the book is published.

Many tears have been shed at the untimely demise of Bernie MacBook Jr.; the FamiLee is still experiencing great waves of grief. A quick scan of their web searches indicate the FamiLee is still soundly in the first stage of denial. Arrangements have not yet been made for MacBook Jr.'s burial. In lieu of flowers, please send Kendra a chai latte as she copes with the loss of her beloved Bernie MacBook Jr.

Chai Latte for Kendra