First Birthday Observed

I have returned to my cold compact home unit after five days spent at my in-laws where the climate indoors is warm and dry enough to make you have Hard Booger Nose. The last five days were much like a religious retreat, the kind where you're forced to go without television and internet and where you spend a lot of time talking about epiphanies and reading and sitting around on couches in a circle and laughing and being reminded that family and laughter and navel oranges are really the essentials in this life. Of course, the retreat was held in honor of Baby Girl, in celebration of her first birthday, which is on the horizon but which we observed with my entire immediate blended crazy fabulous family all around, too. I am glad to be back in my own home where my nose runs naturally and where I eat sparingly the soy and kimchi and rice-based foods that are the cuisine of my in-laws but which make me start tweaking for some greasy cheese pizza after a few days. But as I sit here on my commodious couch with freshly-folded laundry and half-read books and write this account for all of you dearhearts while Lovey Loverpants watches Jack Bauer say serious things to threatening villans, my heart feels very filled and I am still on my retreat high. An excellent spirit to carry into this new era of hope and change and Together We Can....

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Auntie Shannon

auntie shan

Harmonee

harmonee

Nana Red

nana red

cupcake

first birsday

Auntie TP

auntie tp

Pennie the Weiner Dog Roasting by the Open Fire

pennie the bandit

double straw

...and a preview of her Korean Princess photo-shoot:

one

Bumps and Barf

How come you all didn't warn me about that ghastly stomach bug that rips through families and turns them upside down and makes the walls spin and leaves an otherwise capable set of parents completely debilitated and calling for reinforcements? Ooosh! The last 48 hours have been an adventure in acquainting myself with ye olde John Donne-ism that No Man is an Island. Indeed, I may have been marooned on the island of the pukeys in which I could NOT keep a drop of fluid down for more than 3 hours this weekend, but I was not alone. Lovey Loverpants was there on the Island of Puke, just trying to keep upright long enough to shovel the snow in order to make way for the Green Bus to make important trips to CVS for Pedialyte runs and to go to work. Baby Girl was there, too, and just clearly not herself. Didn't want to eat, didn't even smile before trying to dive off the bed where we change her diaper. Before Loverpants left for work yesterday, I did call some local friends like they were on my Samaritan hotline asking if they could spare an hour to keep Baby Girl from sucking on batteries while I napped. But then, by the mercy of God, I started to feel a little bit better, and this morning I woke up feeling like I had been given a new body. During our stay on the Island of Puke, two things became abundantly clear:

1.) We are very, very blessed with a caring set of friends. And I need to pay this realization forward, for sure.

2.) If there is ever a Baby Loverpants #2, he/she will not be raised in a place where the Island of Puke cannot be attended by members of the extended family. I was so desperate to just call my mother yesterday and for her to come over and wash my dirty dishes and tell me to go back to bed, because she had it all under control. I shall not be taking family for granted ever, ever again.

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Here on the Island of Puke, we took directives from Nana Red to make ghetto pops: Half portion of Pedialyte, half portion of Propel, a little drizzle of apple juice; pour into Dixie cup, pop spoon in, freeze, give to teething sickly child.

Baby Girl thinks Ghetto Pops are suspect. ghetto pop

I don't blame her. ghetto pop ***

Oh! Also!! Baby Girl got her first battle wound! I saw it all go down and was paralyzed to stop it. A little girl at Itsy Bitsy Yoga who is otherwise sweet-mannered and maybe even a little passive saw Baby Girl gamely standing up and decided to pull her arm so she could go walk with her. I see the little girl taking Baby Girl by the hand, and suddenly I am thinking, Naw, she knows Baby Girl can't wa----OH shoot. Baby Girl clunks her head on the corner of a wall and breaks into the squishy mushroom face cry.

See the crease on her forehead?

po lil bunny

Poor little bunny. battle wounded

Education

We had a couple over last weekend whom I very much respect. I look to their counsel on many things, particularly about marriage and child-rearing. We stumbled onto the topic of education, and the fellow said that he was very glad to have placed his children in Adventist Christian schools because, he contended, they give the kids so much more than public schools, and then he said something that probably shouldn't have surprised me. He implied that he was glad that his children weren't getting the public school's lesson on "gay people."

And I thought to myself, Wow. Because that's not my goal at all.

I've been thinking about education, and what really are my goals for my child's education. It's so important, and I feel that it's never too early to start thinking intentionally about it. So here are my thoughts thus far.

My chief goal as it stands is to give my child a foundation in the Bible. It is not something that I had, even though I attended Catholic schools for twelve years. I developed a cursory knowledge of some Bible stories, and I can recite the Apostle's Creed and obscure Marian prayers to sweep the category on "Jeopardy!," but until I began studying the Bible in my early twenties, I really didn't have a sense that the Bible could guide my life. I believe the Bible is God's word and that it is a trustworthy guide by which to live my life. I would like to share this belief with my child.

It is for this reason that I don't have a particular soapbox about whether or not to send my child to private, public, Christian or non-sectarian schools. Because I intend for her to know that beyond any earthly teacher, the Bible is the greatest authority for teaching. I know that many parents want to shelter their children from different viewpoints, be they about homosexuality, evolution, and other world religions. That is diametrically opposed to my educational goals for my child. I do not intend to nor do I want to shelter my child from the diversity of opinions, lifestyles, and belief systems that exist in our world. But I want to know that I have given my child a compass through which to navigate her way through these things.

I myself had this. My parents were not always available, but I knew how to access them when I had moral dilemmas. They often taught me to fight my own battles and sometimes I don't think this was necessary. I was young and inexperienced and sometimes I think I needed more compassion than I received from them. But I definitely knew that my parents could help me when I needed it.

I want my child to know that her parents are there for her to help her to navigate the moral landscape of her life. But beyond that, I want her to know that sometimes her parents are going to be wrong. Which is why a solid foundation in the Bible is important.

I have heard Christian parents say that they could not imagine sending their children off to spend 8 hours with a teacher Monday through Friday, which is why they homeschool. I respect their right to think this. I, however, do not view this as a valid argument to homeschool my child. I think this negates the fact that professional educators may offer our children something that we, as parents, cannot. I do not attempt to fix my car, nor do I purport to know everything about Mandarin, multiplication, mitosis. I hire a mechanic to fix my car. It seems only logical that I would also seek the knowledge of a professional to educate my child in subjects in which I am not familiar. Moreoever, I think that a formal school environment offers children a sense of the order of the world, that having to sit in neat rows and remembering to bring the right spiral notebook to class and dealing with playground bullies are all life skills that help to shape the character and helped me to accept that the world does not revolve around me. This is not to say that homeschooling does not have much to offer in terms of character building, but based on my experience in formal schools, I cannot imagine where I would have learned certain life skills that continue to guide me in the workplace, in church, and in my relationships if not for having attended formal school.

I accept that I am still very naive about educating a child. I know that parents do not always have the luxury of years and years to make decisions about their child's education. But I am hopeful that raising our child in an environment where her parents often study the Bible, where church is an important place not only institutionally but relationally, and also where her parents are clear collaborators with other teachers, that she will appreciate the decisions we have made towards her education.

I know that this is a controversial matter, and I hope that I have not been insensitive to any of your experiences in making difficult decisions about education. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!