Honesty

"In motherhood a woman exchanges her public significance for a range of private meanings, and like sounds outside a certain range they can be very difficult for other people to identify." ***

"A day spent at home caring for a child could not be more different from a day spent working in an office.  Whatever their relative merits, they are days spent on opposite sides of the world."

***

"Birth is not merely that which divides women from men: it also divides women from themselves, so that a woman's understanding of what it is to exist is profoundly changed.  Another person has existed in her, and after their birth they live within the jurisdiction of her consciousness.  When she is with them she is not herself; when she is without them she is not herself; and so it is as difficult to leave your children as it is to stay with them. To discover this is to feel that your live has become irretrievably mired in conflict, or caught in some mythic snare in which you will perpetually, vainly struggle."

***

"Looking after children is...isolating, frequently boring, relentlessly demanding and exhausting.  It erodes your self-esteem and your membership of the adult world...Even when you agree on a version of living that is acceptable to everybody, there are still longings that go unmet. It is my belief that in this enterprise generosity is more important than even than equality...."

- excerpted from the brilliant Rachel Cusk's A Life's Work

*** funny face

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stuart smalley

wax lips

tutu

loverpants, lump of love

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Hi Pampa

This post is dedicated to my old man who has a penchant for purchasing queer pyjamas for the ones he (most) loves. Grateful beneficiaries are we.

Including Loverpants, who loves his polarbear loverpyjamapants.

red envelope jammies

Little Man is rocking his onesie that is a Lollipop Guild/Lullabye League uniform hybrid Observe:

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lollipop guild

red envelope jammies red envelope jammies    red envelope jammies

But here is the pièce de résistance:

red envelope jammies

That's right. Thou shalt know him by his butt flap.

red envelope jammies

Revelation

You know the girl from school for whom everything was so ridiculously easy? Maybe she and you went to grade school together and then she followed you to high school and the easy-peasy lemon-squeezy shuffle continued for her and you just looked askance, Really? She's allowed to have the grades and the car and the friends and even the locker that is not next to the door that always swings open right into your backpack eleven times before first bell? And she always skates by on charm, always has a hottie date to the dance, always sort of looks right through you as she waves to one of her higher ranking fanclub members NO YOU MAY NOT. Well I saw her the other night. Went up to her and said hi, and Merry Christmas and can you believe this restaurant is closing for good?

And you know what?

She was so nice. And so mannerly and so genuinely kind. She had gained some weight and who hasn't since high school? But the only reason I bring it up is because I felt as though the Old Kendra would have been all doing the cabbage patch dance I'M NOT THE FAT ONE THIS TIME I'M NOT THE FAT ONE whereas the New Kendra can be happy that we both can be happy for one another. Which I was.

And I feel very much as though I got to the end of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory Tour and I just handed the everlasting gobstopper sample back to Willy, honest gal that I am, and he takes me by the hand and then presses his hands to my cheeks and says, "My girl! You've won! You've won You've won You've WON OH MY GIRL, YOU HAVE WON!"

I really have. I have hit the grand jackpot. Knowing what I know, that the contest is over, that the prize of popularity is hollow and turns brass. That if you can come out of the whole gauntlet of grade school and the small ring of hell that was high school with a sense of gratitude for all that you learned and a sense of generosity for all the good things that have come to others--then you, too, have won.

So. How were your holidays?

*** These two. They share so much, they steal everything from the other. But mostly they share laughs. And mostly they steal kisses. IMG_5011IMG_5012IMG_5013

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Prrrrresents!

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My in-laws bought Baby Girl a sled that said LUCKY BUMS in very large letters where the bum sits before it goes flying Chevy Chase style.

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Having a deep and meaningful with Frosty.

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Being a helicopter parent at the bounce house

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Loverpants has been taking this very photo on this very couch with this very dear friend Marissa since way back. But this was the first time Auntie M got to meet her niece and nephew, so it was a special photoshoot indeed.

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Uncle Joe double-fisting his babies. Little Man distracted.

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Christmas Day, readyin' up for church

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Shalomin' with our homeys, celebrating our friend Jukes' birthday on Christmas day

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Trip to Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. Cold day. Furry animals. Twas awesome.

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