Homecoming

We brought Little Man home from the hospital.  I got a chocolate glazed donut from Mike's en route.  I felt it was deserved. ***

Baby Girl dropped a large volume of Curious George stories on her foot in an attempt to grab Grover Goes to School.  Through tears, she choked, "I can read this one to him."

***

Baby Girl passed out in our bed and Little Man conked out while I was changing his diaper on said bed.  I looked at this fluffy plateau where both of these little sleeping monuments lay and I thought, Woah.  Both of those came out of my body.  And now they are both here.  Siblings.  Asleep.  Peaceful, one next to the other.

***

And this is about all I want to remember about the last two days.

Nana Red had to leave before Little Man was 48 hours old :( Baby Girl made me the best bouquet for a hospital patient ever...a bouquet of craft supply.

Hulmonee arrived and was whipping up dumplings in record time.  Likes.

Dwelling place

I started reading Psalms 91 a couple months back when I felt as though my focus was off.  I was getting trifled by stoopit things and losing perspective on God's ability to handle the important things.  Psalm 91 reminds us to just dwell in God's shelter, to trust in His protection and call on His name when we are in danger. ***

I wrote about a week ago, partly in jest, about the potentially dying of a labor-induced fatal nosebleed.

***

Last Thursday morning, I went to the hospital with my husband wearing my Laboring Pigtails.  I mentally prepared myself, nay, I resolved to meet my baby before midnight.

I just didn't think it would be after eleven hours wherein both my baby and I would find ourselves within inches of our lives.

***

My son, Tatum Jay, deserves to have a record of his birth story, but I cannot write it right now.  The temptation to start every sentence with the personal pronoun "I" is just too great.  I did not do this.  I believe that God did this, He brought this child into the world and now this boy with the perfectly cottony head is on lease to me.  God sheltered us.  God's mercy and strength abided.  Tatum's heart rate plummeted many times before I got to meet him.  I lost over a liter of blood and then continued to lose more blood before I was allowed to be declared "stable."  Through it all, God showed us His care and I am forever changed, so so so happy to dwell in His shelter, drawing in this new little one under His wings.

***

The new man in our life...

I know this is not the end even though it kinda is

Dear Loverpants, I have a strong feeling that neither one of us will emerge from this weekend without having met Newbie 'Nother Baby.  And by strong feeling, I mean that reminders keep coming every 5-10 minutes like an alarm clock vibrating along my uterine walls.  Nay, the weekend shall not close, I suspect, without Newbie coming out some manner of hatch on my person, God-made or man-made, and that is both exhilarating and terrifying all at once and over and over again.

That said, I just want to put this out into the Universe:  If I die in childbirth, which I likely won't, but, ya know, in the event of a fatal nosebleed from all that pushing, I just want you to know that I think you are wonderful and through the prism of parenthood, I got to see your wonderfulnesses exponentialize and consider myself the most blessed wifemum ever!  Even if I harped on you not doing things immediately...you taught me to remember what really mattered was not expediently putting away the pyjamas off the bathroom floor but having lots of laughs and tea parties with Baby Girl and wanting what we have and nothing more.

Please give yourself a hug and an earlobe pinch for me everyday, and tell Baby Girl that she was the most extraordinary treasure I've ever been lent.  Also, hug her daily for me and tell her that the best days will be those when she helps others.  Also, that she will someday be a great climber, maybe of rock walls or corporate ladders or ivory towers.

Tell Newbie how much he/she was loved his/her whole womb life by me, and how I know what a great kickstarter he/she will be in this life, and I'll look forward to meeting and holding him/her in the next life.

Finally, do promise me that if I die in childbirth, your next go-round with marriage you'll find yourself a kinder wife, less given to theatrics such as in this blog post.

Love Love Love, K

P.S. I loved what you wrote here.