February 27, 2011

The Lost Weekend

February 27, 2011/ kendratheadverb

There's this tendency in women to second-guess. I don't observe this tendency in men nearly as much. We women want and then we teeter, we choose and then we waiver, we plan and then we consider the guilt that inches into our periphery and then darts across the room and soon it is swirling around us, causing us to wonder if we are the ones spinning or if we are being swallowed in a tidepool of self-imposed self-loathing. My mother was the same way. She always felt bad. Wouldn't buy herself a new handbag. Some gum-chomping teenager somewhere might break a bracket on her braces and rack up an orthodonists bill like whoa.

So here I am, a woman with a million reasons (e.g. nursing baby, needy toddler, eleventy-four papers to grade) to not plan a girlfriends' overnight. But I married well. And I'm moving. And I have awe-inspiring friends. A million more reasons in my favor to get away for a night.

My girlfriends from the neighborhood--the ones that God plucked from the patch of perfection and planted in my own backyard to learn from and love on and wonder half a dozen times a week how I would abide without them--and I went up to Portsmouth, NH for a night.

We all second-guessed ourselves 428908.301 times over e-mail and phonecalls. Should I go? How can I go? What is this voice telling me to go? Who buys a bathing suit in February? And most importantly, should I bring the fake mustaches?

And yet Saturday came and there we were, pulling across a picturesque bridge to a historic hotel with bags packed full of good chocolate and US Weekly and acceptable jeans. We hot-tubbed outdoors watching ribbons of steam waft up and across the snowy vista, of course talking about our kids and school decisions the whole time, but just FYI, if you ask my friend A. about Hall Passes, she ain't talking about school no more.

We had a leeeisurely dinner and ordered dessert!! and cappuccinos!! because we could!! And then the mustaches came out and my stomach hurt from the mustachioed laughter. After we bopped around and people watched and snorty laughed about Snookie and closed down an establishment air-guitarring to "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Sweet Caroline," my girl LMac said, "Let's do our children proud," and we did. They would have all been so proud.

There was plenty of more chocolate and cappuccino and laughs before we left, with speculation about where we'd go next year, even though it wouldn't really matter, as long as we were all there, the laughter and the lipstick and the mustaches to boot. About that, there would be no second guessing. Not one single doubt.

*** Cia, A-Dub, Girl w/ the Green Truck

Same as above, plus T-Red and Stefita

Stefita, LMac, Meggo my Eggo

Royalty

Sillies.

February 01, 2011

SoCal is a drug

February 01, 2011/ kendratheadverb

Southern California is a drug, and this past weekend I got more than a contact high off of it. Now let's not be all dropping buzzwords, calling it The Gateway Drug. (Ever notice how peeps be saying that these days and don't even specify, like, into which gate the inferior drug is ushering us?) I don't know much about drugs and that sort of paraphernalia, but I do know that it took me thirty years to try SoCal, and now that I've gotten completely intoxicated by miles of palm trees and Yogurtland and the magnificent, freezing Pacific Ocean, I have to say that I'm glad a six hour plane ride separates us, because, Dear Los Angeles, I could get mightily addicted to you. ***

We spent Baby Girl's birthday weekend visiting Auntie ShaSha and Uncle JoJo, who are pretty much the best people ever, I'm not even sure if anyone is more generous or lovely, not even Ina Garten and she seems pretty fantastic. They totally let us build pillow forts on their couch and eat all their food and play lemon bowling with the lemons in their backyard. (Also: We're sorry to have traumatized their dogs, and by sorry I mean that I was sorry and by traumatize I meant Baby Girl should know better by now.)

***

I have a lot of thoughts about Baby Girl turning three. I remember when my sister was three. She was mostly a ween. She could turn on the tears at the drop of a Mrs. Potatohead earring. But dang if she wasn't cute. Emerging from the twos with Baby Girl is tricky because I knew more or less what to expect with the twos. I always thought of them as the Training Twos. I was training Baby Girl to be a functional member of our family, she was training me to be a more ~~longsuffering~~ patient and communicative mother. The threes, however, now they're a whole other ball of wax. I'm a little daunted, to be honest, but yesterday my daughter made tremendous efforts not to chew her boogers by handing one to me, all dangling it precariously from her pointer finger, "Here, Mom, I don't want it." Which is to say I've got my tissues ready for the threes. They can be picky.

***

Memorable travelogue things that we did in SoCal: - In-n-Out Burger: grilled cheese, animal-style, please and thank you - Stalking the In-n-Out Burgergirl Dianna: if you are reading this, your eye make-up really is amazing - Highway One! >Malibu!!> Palisades!!!>Sunset Strip!!!> Beverly Hills!!!!! OMG So Entourage! - Sweet tamales, shweet delish - Santa Monica Pier (Minnie Mouse has a Spanish accent, who knew?) - Meeting all the pups in the 'hood - Steel cut oats from...wait for it...Jamba Juice (amazing!) - Upper Room Fellowship in Temple City - Bandying about in Pasadena, dinner at Quadrupel, dessert at Creme de la Creme - Visiting the school where Uncle JoJo cracks the whip - Cartwheeling around the Rose Bowl. That sounds fun, doesn't it? Dizzzzehhhh! - Tofu Hot Pot Korean - Yogurtland - Yes, my vacations always revolve around food

Thanks, Pastry Chef Angie Park!! (This cake was truly bananas. I mean, it even TASTED like bananas!)

I know you were all waiting for the photo of me Mommin' it up with my fanny pack. Presto!

December 30, 2010

Revelation

December 30, 2010/ kendratheadverb

You know the girl from school for whom everything was so ridiculously easy? Maybe she and you went to grade school together and then she followed you to high school and the easy-peasy lemon-squeezy shuffle continued for her and you just looked askance, Really? She's allowed to have the grades and the car and the friends and even the locker that is not next to the door that always swings open right into your backpack eleven times before first bell? And she always skates by on charm, always has a hottie date to the dance, always sort of looks right through you as she waves to one of her higher ranking fanclub members NO YOU MAY NOT. Well I saw her the other night. Went up to her and said hi, and Merry Christmas and can you believe this restaurant is closing for good?

And you know what?

She was so nice. And so mannerly and so genuinely kind. She had gained some weight and who hasn't since high school? But the only reason I bring it up is because I felt as though the Old Kendra would have been all doing the cabbage patch dance I'M NOT THE FAT ONE THIS TIME I'M NOT THE FAT ONE whereas the New Kendra can be happy that we both can be happy for one another. Which I was.

And I feel very much as though I got to the end of the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory Tour and I just handed the everlasting gobstopper sample back to Willy, honest gal that I am, and he takes me by the hand and then presses his hands to my cheeks and says, "My girl! You've won! You've won You've won You've WON OH MY GIRL, YOU HAVE WON!"

I really have. I have hit the grand jackpot. Knowing what I know, that the contest is over, that the prize of popularity is hollow and turns brass. That if you can come out of the whole gauntlet of grade school and the small ring of hell that was high school with a sense of gratitude for all that you learned and a sense of generosity for all the good things that have come to others--then you, too, have won.

So. How were your holidays?

*** These two. They share so much, they steal everything from the other. But mostly they share laughs. And mostly they steal kisses.

Prrrrresents!

My in-laws bought Baby Girl a sled that said LUCKY BUMS in very large letters where the bum sits before it goes flying Chevy Chase style.

Having a deep and meaningful with Frosty.

Being a helicopter parent at the bounce house

Loverpants has been taking this very photo on this very couch with this very dear friend Marissa since way back. But this was the first time Auntie M got to meet her niece and nephew, so it was a special photoshoot indeed.