Greetings from Downton Madi #downton

Greetings. My name is Lady Louella. I reside at Downton Abbey, but am presently on holiday at Downton Madi, to be closer to the seaside. I am fortunate that although these quarters are modest, I do have a ladies' maid who travels with me; she assists me with all of my wardrobing. I don't know what I might do if she off and became a cleric or joined the Civil Service. Perish the thought!

My ladies' maid always knows what is in fashion for high tea; I trust her sensibilities implicitly. She isn't like other peasant folks I have encountered in the past, mucking around in their ratty britches. My ladies' maid understands couture of the highest order. Thank heavens.

We often enjoy luncheon in town. Afterwards, we will sometimes enjoy a leisurely painting session in the small studio down the lane from Downton Madi.

Although it may appear common, I do so enjoy taking an afternoon constitutional with one of the house canines. It is good sport and the fresh air is quickening to my extremities.

In the evenings, I often pen a letter to my dear cousin Trixie to inquire as to how she is getting on with so many Labour party activists vying for a patch of land from a Tory loyalist like herself. I've advised her to cease being trifled with all of that and to come visit me here at Downton Madi where she might meet a young bloke in the Royal Navy. Wouldn't that be terribly clever?

I then retire to my quarters and enjoy a long slumber with the sounds of the seaside crashing against my bonny cottage. fair Downton Madi.

RIP Bernie Macbook, Jr. #mac

Bernie MacBook Jr. passed away the evening of Sunday, January 6, 2014 in his home, surrounded by loved ones. MacBook Jr. is survived by his owners, the FamiLee. He is the son of the late Bernie MacBook Sr. MacBook Jr. arrived to the home of the FamiLee in Boston in 2010. He was adopted by the FamiLee through the Macintosh Refurbished program; his birth family remains unknown. As one of the first iterations of the MacBooks, he was proud to have served as a heavyweight champion of his class, crushing the likes of iPads and MacBook Airs. MacBook Jr. served in the U.S. Armed Forces against Malware and never retired from active duty. He earned his master's degree in Facebook and also scored three virtual golden trophies in the final round of Princess Enchantment Castle on GirlsGoGames.com. He served as a portal for countless awkward conversations with in-laws via Skype and his reserves for awkward family photo documentation were boundless. By far his crowning achievement was allowing Kendra to write her memoir, FamiLee on his software; MacBook Jr. will no doubt smile from Compooper Heaven once the book is published.

Many tears have been shed at the untimely demise of Bernie MacBook Jr.; the FamiLee is still experiencing great waves of grief. A quick scan of their web searches indicate the FamiLee is still soundly in the first stage of denial. Arrangements have not yet been made for MacBook Jr.'s burial. In lieu of flowers, please send Kendra a chai latte as she copes with the loss of her beloved Bernie MacBook Jr.

Chai Latte for Kendra

Caring for the Grammar Purist in Your Life

The Holidays are the hardest time of a year for a grammar purist. It can be especially exhausting to care for the grammar purist in your life as he/she copes with descriptive grammar everywhere. The omnipresence of improper punctuation is also a trigger.

For example, have you ever considered "Season's Greetings" if improperly punctuated? To a grammar purist, this is pure psychological warfare. What if the card were to say Seasons Greetings? As in a plural set of seasons are busily greeting. The grammar purist immediately embarks upon the following journey of images:

As you care for the grammar purist in your life, you may want to note common places where grammar impurity is tolerated, in order to help your purist not have a conniption fit. You may see him/her writhing in pain at the simple opening of a letter. SO many Christmas cards with, for example, "The Higgenbottom's" as return address. THE HIGGENBOTTOMS. PLURAL. NOT POSSESSIVE. You may hear him/her muttering, as he/she reads another Christmas letter ad nauseum:

"It's 'This year was special for my family and ME.' ME. I is not a direct object pronoun or even an indirect object pronoun!!!"

Understand that mumbled grammatical lessons to an unsuspecting or even an invisible audience is normal behavior for a grammar purist, particularly for this time of year. As long as the grammar purist stays in a healthy zone of the didactic, rather than the preachy or even violent, he/she should emerge from the holiday season with sanity intact.

Although difficult to avoid, you should try your best to steer your grammar purist away from shopping malls where signage with grammar impurities run rampant. Lest your grammar purist be compelled to correct every sign hastily printed:

Loving your grammar purist can be a thorny business as you endure their spastic, oftentimes inconsolable tantrums over seemingly inconsequential  matters. However, your abiding is appreciated and will reap plenty of rewards in the new  year when he/she is back to helping you edit your cover letter for that new job you're about to snag. Yay, grammar purity!