Critiquing by creating: what our world seems to have forgotten how to do

My creative compass rarely points to things that scare the snot out of me. I favor creating things that I sense will make someone smile, that will make an otherwise pedestrian mail day a bit brighter. I create safely. I rarely create to bend rules or write new ones. But when I do, I recoil in fear that someone might come along and yank back the reins so that I'll never get to create again. You make people uncomfortable with your creativity. What was wrong with what we already had? This? This is too risky.

Over the past few months, though, I've been noodling around the idea of creating to critique. It's a motto attributed to Michelangelo, who no doubt pondered creation with a capital C for a good fraction of his life. I can't remember what dorkcast reminded me of the highest form of criticism, but I've been returning to it again and again. I wish the world would follow.

At its core, critique by creation aims to to either improve the existent model or invent something that never existed. Rather than simply evaluate the pros and cons of the unprofitable lemonade stand, critiquing by creation puts wheels on the lemonade stand and takes it on the road. We know this is not where the story ends, though. Because say the lemonade truck proves profitable. Then the critiquers will hover near. They will replicate. They may even rob. They want a squeeze of that lemon but rather than create their own mobile happiness, they are mired in their own jealousy which often leads to destruction.

Hot Dog Stand, West St. and North Moore, Manhattan.

The problem with history is that it holds plenty of shelf space for both the builders and the destroyers. It doesn't discriminate between the worthy and the vile, nor should it because we need to learn the lessons we're not meant to repeat.

If only those who critiqued through creation were more celebrated than those who destroyed.

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I cannot possibly fathom why I will spend the rest of my life getting choked up when I pass a baseball field and think of what plays Martin Richard might have designed. I cannot reason why Trayvon Martin doesn't get to draft new flight patterns as a pilot. Tell me why the city of Cleveland will spend $6M appeasing the family of the late Tamir Rice instead of sending him to college where he could dream, grow, learn, create. Why are the video tools that are supposed to advance our creativity so often used--by necessity--to capture brutal, senseless slayings by police officers or terrorist organizations?

Millions March NYC

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The story of Creation that I know begins with a God who always was and always is, who creates from nothing a world meant to be shared and enjoyed by His other beloved creations.

We do not truly create in this life but cull from the resources we are given things shiny and pleasing. We fancy ourselves inventors but we are only simply trying to get back to the Edenic place we began, when all was alive and good. This is the choice we have each day. It is not a choice as to build a block tower or knock someone else's over. We choose whether we will believe enough in a world that was meant to be life-giving for every man, plant, animal or whether we will be complicit in its destruction. What kind of critics will we be?

Silver Spring #ReclaimMLK Sit-In 17

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Coming close

Doing life with brothers and sisters who do not look, smell, sound, vote, spend money, spend time, sing, chew, dress the way we do is highly detrimental to one's sense of superiority. Residing next to, working and worshiping alongside, breaking bread with them--what a liability that might invite.

Do not seek out or celebrate diversity in schools, in workplaces, in zipcodes if you want to retain an almighty sense of fear about what might transpire. Set boundaries, gerrymander precincts, build the wall high enough to harbor your own, oh for the love, just worship at the altar of Safety for upon our invented sense of Safety does all wisdom flow.

By no means should you come close to those whom you serve. Under no circumstances should you place yourself in situations where you might be uncomfortable, unappreciated, possibly unarmed.

Pray for the Differents, just don't try to Make the Difference. Follow the hashtags from a safe distance. For the love, just keep your distance.

On dropping off my kid at camp for the first time

I am tucking the sheet around the mattress on the top bunk which she has chosen because it runs perpendicular to her friend Belle's. I imagine them later that night, all muffled giggles and flashlights burning dim. I am forcing the rumpled sheet around the mattress and with each tuck I am enfolding so many things. Two streams of feelings flood me: Did I pack her a hoodie? Did I love her enough? Does she have enough toothpaste for the week? Did I love her enough? I am tucking in every hope of every parent who has ever sent their kid to camp: Please, please, have so much fun that you have no time to miss home. Please don't just eat Frito's and drink Lemonade all week. Please be kind to the girl that everyone thinks is a weirdo. The weirdoes all grow up to be awesome people, trust. In the days leading up to camp, my daughter was different. More aware, more sensitive. She hugged me tighter, visited kindness more readily upon her brother. It is both easy and completely aggravating to love the child who is antyspantsed excited about something on the horizon.

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But there is new under the campground sun. For in every stage of parenting, there are victories and crushing losses. I am ecstatic that my child went barreling onto the top bunk without fear. I am so pleased that she then came down and group hugged us with a vice grip. I am bereft to know that I will blink and suddenly she will be asking me to back off and let her put the sheets on her bunk. In her college dorm room.

There is an unspoken contract that parents make in sending their kids to camp for the week. It is different than simply sending them to school because with school you have some say-so with their lunch orders and where they sleep. With sleepaway camp, you sign away your rights to intervene for the designated time; you trust that whatever you learn will be born either of necessity or overflow. You gain the right to not have to coordinate, support, discipline for the week; you surrender your rights to ever truly know what really happened. In short, you empower your child to have his/her own life--to not only eat cereal for dinner if she so pleases but to harbor the experience of crushing hard on a boy for the first time deep deep in her heart. She will tell you about one or both or neither because you empowered her to make that choice.

Our house is so quiet at night. The absence of one is surely felt. I don't want that hole ever to be filled by any but that beautiful girl. Bittersweet is one word. The taste of two elements at once. I hope one day she knows exactly what it means.

Camp