If I'm completely realistic in this moment about prospective parenthood, I have to say that I don't think it's going to change us that much.
And before all of the seasoned parents sigh and send flaming grenades of "Listen Gurrrfrand" up by garbage disposal, I just want to say that I am fully prepared for that notion to change. But here's what: the typical things that change for people when they become somebody's parents relate to their schedules and spending, no? Sleep and work and leisure schedules change, often dramatically. Spending habits shift, often dramatically.
Over the course of the last eight months, let me tell you about schedules. How about 3 jobs? How about night school? How about commuting around the fifth ring of hell? How about weekends that rival a rock band on tour (I've been thinking about putting curtains in our green bus, some sticky stars on the ceiling, maybe a mini-fridge up in there since we spend so much friggin' time on the road).
You want to talk about spending? Honey, get out your spreadsheet, because that's what we did a few months ago. I know they say that you really need to take a long look at your budget, your spending habits before you get married. Somehow, Mr. Loverpants and I were always transparent enough about finances that we never really took a formal look at the numbers. When we did, we were a little bit surprised. And then we looked around and assessed the e-bay auctionability of all of our possessions.
So in these two respects, I feel extremely blessed. Just when we thought we had a good handle on our schedules, spending, God sent us back to batting practice to try and hit the curveball. We're still getting ramped up, we're still learning to be teammates, and we've still so much to learn about accommodating the schedule and spending habits (ha! ha!) of this family member whom we've not yet met.
But ever since I graduated from Small Liberal Arts College on a Hill, I feel that I've grown more selfish with my time and money. I guard my Sundays jealously, I make more time for my DVR than I do for people, I have plenty of money for my favorite moisturizer but really feel the strain sometimes of paying tithe.
So once again, I don't think parenthood will change us that much. Not much more than we can expect something so profoundly wonderful and needing of every ounce of our time and money to change us. Not much more than we can expect someone we are already so in love with to change our hearts completely.