Epic Fail, Reversal

There once was a weary mum with a big belly, who spent most days operating off adrenaline fumes. That mum did not take well to the unseasonable 90 degree temps in her urbane 'hood yesterday.

In fact, she moved molasses-like about the usual chores of life.  Including cleaning piss and popsicle off of her living room floor.

So when her daughter resisted the potty, the nutritious dinner, in lieu of spilling bubble solution all over the patio, that tired mum relented.

Later last evening, the tired mum's tired friend came over with her toddler.  To the park they all went, with lovely picnic basket in tow.

Upon their arrival at the park, there were teens doing dark deeds on brightly lit benches.  The tired mum could only huff and find another bench with naughty teens out of her periphery.

As the tired mums enjoyed their picnic dinner, the tots played nicely.


Until a particular daughter proceeded to whiz her pants and split her lip in the course of five minutes.

As the tired mum rushed her bloody-lipped daughter back into the house, abandoning her guest friends at the park, a fleeting thought of whether or not there was a toddler-for-lease section on craigslist did pass her mind.

Bidding farewell to the friends, the tired mum scrubby dubbed the pee-stained daughter in the tub and prepped her for bed.

* * * * * * Then. * * * * * Dagnab it, Robert Munsch.

You made a marshmallow of that tired mum.

After a hardish day, all that tired mum wanted to do was watch some Oprah on DVR and wallow.

But then you inspired that tired mum's daughter to say,

"I love you forever, mommy."

There would be no wallowing, as she wet-swiffered the residual piss and popsicle off the floor later that evening.