Good Humor

I inherited this animal instinct from my grandmother that I cannot seem to disinherit. Whenever I even smell the scent of Someone Who is Good Humored, I immediately have to tell him or her something embarrassing I just did, like, a few seconds ago. Today I am breezing out of the gym, carrying Baby Girl who is rotating her head back and forth and pointing at BLUE BALL! (and guess how many blue balls you can find at a gym with shelves upon shelves of exerballs? Many! So let's repeat every time we see a BLUE BALL!). I pass the front desk and see Seemingly Good Humored Girl at Front Desk and I feel as though suddenly the exit door is blocked by fierce laser beams barring me from leaving the building without sharing with Good Humored Girl the following:

"Oh my goodness everytime I pass that inspirational weight loss story I just start crying I look at her story and I just think ::gets high breathy voice:: if she can do it I can do it oh my goodness I don't even know that woman and I just start crying it's just like watching 'Oprah'"

Good Humored Girl looked back at me with this pleeding smile as if to say, "Please leave, because I know you are about one 'oh my goodness' away from telling me about how you went to the hospital with a tingling in your shoulder last week and by mistake you got a hysterectomy, and frankly I am just really happy reading USWeekly today, so thanks."