Hot Mess Mama Chronicles, episode #44

To celebrate the last full day of school for Baby Girl, we went to Sonic, because what says "Bring on Summer" more than a little cherry limeade served on rollerskates? I ask you. Beverages were procured at half-price. High five, Mom. You made it in time for happy hour.

We also made it with plenty of time to drop off Toby at puppy camp. Due to his extreme excitement upon arrival to Puppy Camp, the Tobinator, on leash, whipped around Little Man, causing the boy to fumble with his milkshake, of which he had taken one sip. The grass was then drinking 98% of the milkshake. The remnant 2% was left in the milkshake cup which suddenly no longer had a bottom.

Conveniently, there were neither wipes nor napkins in the car, and it was 115 degrees outside at the moment. I proceeded to enter Puppy Camp with one child guzzling a slush, one Garbage Pail Kid all saddened because he lost his milkshake, and a puppy that could have cared less whether this was a concentration camp or a Caribbean cruise exclusively for canines.

The Puppy Camp transaction was successful.

En route to Wal-Mart (judge us if you must), Baby Girl successfully punched her straw through the bottom of the slush. Within seconds, she was wearing the slush.

Now, any other mother having her wits about her would likely have turned around, aborting mission Wal-Mart, and promptly hosing her children down of Sonic beverage with which they had splatterpainted themselves.

Instead, we went to McDonald's and procured more beverages made of 79% chemicals and 21% sugar. Hurrah!

We then persevered with Le Mart du Wal where it is a good thing I did not lose sight of Baby Girl completely for an entire gut-wrenching minute, envisioning her already to Kentucky in a Winnebago with the People of Wal-Mart. Like I said, good thing that is a completely alien experience to which I cannot relate.

Now here we are, at home, where I'll be with my kids full-time for the next few months.

Happy Summer, y'all.