Occasionally, I must admit that my morning commute sometimes entails listening to radio programs with the tag lines of "Fresh Soft Rock." As if it isn't bad enough that my latter twenties will be spent cutting out coupons for baby butt paste at B.J.'s. Now I have to admit to you that I listen and sometimes sing along to Journey WITH NO SENSE OF IRONY. Who am I? Clinton pre-election? Goodness.
Now that this information is out for the universe to grapple with and find a way to forgive, I will note that whilst I was listening to Fresh Soft Rock this morning (and no, my pants were not tapered nor was I wearing duck shoes from L.L. Bean), the radio host introduced James Blunt's smash hit "Beautiful" as "the top wedding song of 2007."
Uh...Baking powder? One of the top songs? Played at weddings in the last year? WITH NO SENSE OF IRONY?
I just didn't want to believe it, fond readers. I love me a good Brit Pop artist as much as the next bloke, let's be honest. But the people who chose to put that song in their wedding reception playlists -- do they have a modicum of a brain? Because, fair sentimental brides, let's review. "Beautiful" may be how you want to feel on your special day. And nothing makes me so hot and bothered as being crooned to by a Brit boy, please understand. But "Beautiful" is a song about a guy who is rather high, gawking at a girl on the subway, who is rather taken. It is furthermore about this high guy who knows nothing about this girl besides the fact that she is spoken for, but who swears he'll continue to lust after the image of her, which to him bore the similitude of an angel. Which is, like, totally in keeping with the spirit of a ceremony that commemorates the joining of two hearts in a commitment to practice unconditional love until every last unicorn loses its horn and flies away...
But there you have it. Write a song called "Beautiful" and use the word "angel" in it, and you have the top wedding song of the year.