To: Baby, From: Mama

Dear Wee, You and I had a long week, possibly the longest, most taxing week for our whole family in a long time. I know I can't sleep these days, don't know if the same is for you, but Daddy just went and bought a new bed at IKEA which is very pretty (blond wood = lovely) and comfortable, and neither Daddy nor I has really had the opportunity to enjoy it. People keep bringing the crazy to the hospital at night and so he keeps getting paged. I don't know why I can't sleep, but something tells me that God is preparing my body to feed you intermittently throughout the night.

measure up one

In addition to the sleepless nights, there were final papers to write, Microsoft Visio charts to compile and a highly regretable incident. You and I took a spill on Monday evening. It was traumatic for several reasons, not least of which was your reaction, which I'm guessing was to curl up and become very still, like a turtle in shell shock. Eventually you started to move and after several long hours at the hospital, it was determined that you were the most resilient, awesome kid in utero, and that's not just coming from me. I'm still trying to get past the incident which left your Mama rattled and after she told the story of the incident to the eleventieth person, her chiropractor told her to stop judging humanity, and somehow the fact that I can't cease doing that tells me that I'm probably going to be kind of a judgey mother, which I'm going to have to pray a lot about since the last thing the world needs is another judgmental mother. Oosh.

I've been thinking a little too much about what kind of a mother I'm going to be, though, and I realized tonight that I really don't have many wishes for you yet. I think it's not helpful to frontload one's kid with expectations or selfish aspirations. But you'd think I'd at least have a few sticky stars of hope to put on the ceiling to smile down at you when you're in dreamland, no? Now, of course I want what every parent wants and that's a happy, healthy kid, who loves to laugh and who appreciates a nice organic penne and the good use of action verbs. But other than that, if there's one thing that I really hope for you to have, since it's the one thing I think I can improve upon from my own childhood is to know that you're loved no matter what, even when you're being a terdlot, and that you know this because it is constantly reinforced by hugs and many hours spent hanging out with you.

Daddy and I are not perfect partners, so we obviously will be far from perfect as parents. But we do like to hang out and annoy the living snot out of each other. We are also big into hugging, and the pinching of earlobes, and the tickling of rib cages, as well as the staying up late to exhaust our daily supply of stories. For these reasons, we feel fairly equipped to pass these things on down to you, and, as I type this sentence, it occurs to me that this all may transpire less as a "trickle down" effect and more as a triangular exchange of many, many good things for us all as a family.

measure up two

I look forward to your soon arrival. Hopefully sooner rather than later. In fact, if you can just let me turn in my final on Monday, you can feel really free to come anytime thereafter. We've got the crib all ready for you, and I'll try to find some sticky stars for that ceiling of yours, too.

Love, Mama