Projections

When I graduated from grade school (it was a K-8 type establishment), I thought I was going to become a great feminist orator, taking down the patriarchy one impassioned Gloria Steinem speech at a time. When I graduated from high school, I thought I was going to become a great humanitarian, an eventual czarina of the American Red Cross, traveling the world on a campaign to suck the world of its healthy blood.

When I graduated from college, I thought I would move to Boston, drink a lot of martinis, work a mediocre job while applying to law school, and eventually become a great attorney, vanquishing injustice one power suit trip at a time.

When I graduated from graduate school, I thought I was really in a pickle because I would have loans and a kid and a mortgage and no time or no energy reserve to produce anything worthwhile for the next eight years.

And I have to say that pretty much none of these projections have really come true.  There are letters next to my name that don't mean a lot.  There are bills in my name that should mean more but don't.  There are clips in my portfolio for which I nearly killed myself and for which I was paid a pittance.  There are dozens of jobs on my resume that led me closer to more detours that led me closer to more doubt and self-loathing. Yet I wouldn't trade any of it for a smarter dossier, a shinier car, a more assured career path.

I want this life, this one that I never expected.  This union with my best friend, my laughing partner, Saturday nights spent unloading Trader Joe's of all of its inventory.  This urbane home of the dirty, cluttered, creaky floors and the neighbors who like to bang upstairs.  This full-time job of motherhood where the overtime pay comes in chubby fingers reaching out to latch on to yours.

Not even 30 and my stock portfolio includes a closet full of lip gloss and an enviable supply of cloth diapers.

Happy Mother's Day to those who never expected to love the job as much as you do, and for all those who will join the force soon, I'm wishing you a blessed journey.

And to you, Newbie 'Nother Baby:  We're keeping a "wook-out" for you....

P.S. Here's a Mum's Day-ish column I wrote.  Enjoy.

Overheard

To preface the following, Baby Girl is somewhat obsessed from where things come (an obvious conundrum in a time of waiting for a new sib) and has only recently discovered certain parts of the human anatomy.... "You got your big boobies, Mommy?"

"Yep.  Yep I do."

"Who bought those for you?"

"Well, nobody bought them.  That's just the way that God made me."

File this under: Things That Money Can't Buy, Priceless

Thirteen for a Thursday

Let's see if I can scrawl thirteen coherent sentences that have Nothing to Do with Pregnancy. 1.) Our cable package does not include New England Sports Network. Ergo, I cannot watch le Red Sox.  I don't go to bars.  I'm too preg--shoot--I don't have the opportunity to go to games.  The deprivation is real.

2.) I had the best sandwich of my sammy-eating life today.  It was from here. It was called Farmer's Lunch.

3.) I used to own a lot more hats than I do now, but I wear my limited collection on the regular.

4.) Patio sets are on my mind.

5.) Smiling people toting yoga mats and looking cute in their lululemon pants cause me to feel irrationally annoyed.

6.) All the reviews said "Coco Before Chanel" was base and boring, but I disagree.  How could you go wrong with Audrey Tautou?

7.) I have recently been working on a project that has me squirreling away in my office and trolling through archives and it gives me so! much! pleasure!!

8.) I absolutely adore well-stocked mini-marts.  There is one near our house that my friend Lucia calls a "lotto spa" because it's like an oasis for scratch-ticket addicts.  That said, it has one of the most impressive candy counters, always has Diet Dr. Pepper in stock, a full selection of Slush Puppy flavors, and is clean and spacious.  Big fan.

9.)Why is gold trading all the rage?  For what purpose is all this gold being used?

10.) My brother left me a voicemail on Sunday and I have yet to call him back.  I have mad guilt about this.

11.) My daughter suddenly loves pretending that she is swimming in a swimming pool when she takes a tubby.  The funny thing is that she hasn't been swimming in a real swimming pool (not a wave or wading pool) since she was...six months-old?

12.) I never watch "Dr. Phil" but I borrow his trademark, "How's that workin' out for ya?"  I think it's funny and useful.

13.) This picture was taken a thousand years ago. In June 2008.