Listen to the Mama

I made my way to the bathroom and reconfirmed that there was a God and His name was Mercy. The deluge of fluid would have flooded a small rice paddie and netted a strong harvest. Had my dam broken at Workplace, uh HOAH. I would still be hiding in the file cabinet. The excitement of my water breaking was soon followed by the onset of panic. There was no going back. A baby was coming. Oh my goodness. And it was going to come down this very same waterslide.

I considered my next steps. First off, what could I expect next from the gushings. Like, should I swaddle myself? Grab a mop? Check the weather report to see if this extreme precipitation was showing up on Doppler Radar?

This panic was heightened as I returned to the bed where the man who was 50% responsible for This Whole Thing was not sleeping. In fact, he was already at the hospital. But not The Hospital. The Other Hospital, to where he had been paged about an hour earlier. An hour earlier when I informed him to hurry back soon, because tonight was probably going to be The Night.

To be continued....

Active Life

Do you agree that when you've met a certain suitor in the past, you could sort of squint your eyes and imagine how your life might end up as that person's partner in, say, thirty years? I think footwear was a big cue for me when I met Lovey Loverpants in August 1999. He was rocking the red Cons and I was so smitten. Surely a college boy who would rock the cherry Chucks had a penchant for sport and whimsy. I was not misled. Had I met him when he was wearing ratty sweat-stained slippers? There's a strong chance we might not be bunkmates today.

I really have a phobia of ending up a wearer of bathrobes and slippers on Saturday nights sometime in the future. My grandparents used to take alllllll day to get dressed, Granny in pin curls and a pink bathrobe, the smell of bacon and eggs wafting throughout the house, coffee stained newspapers scattered across the table. I think this was their slice of Heaven on earth, though. But it's just not what I'm going for, not even as we welcome a Wee Lee into the fold.

Because we live a pretty active life, the prospect that we'll continue to live an active life remains a sort of non-anxiety for me as we become parents. I'm really eager to do cool stuff with the kid, especially as a family. Skating, skiing, spelunking, whatever. Even just paint-by-numbahh on a Sunday afternoon. I'm looking forward to it - the wide-eyed discovery, the hearkening back to When I Was Your Age We Had Cameras Where You Had to Wait More than Five Seconds to See the Picture You Just Took, the cacophony of laughter when Papa John includes a sketch of Dunkin' Donuts in the coloring book with police officers and firemen. I think it's going to be a good time.

***

In other news, Lovey placed an order for four pairs of the following. It's never too early to stock up. The family that plays together [with matching shoes] stays together.

Cupcake

Behold, a cupcake for my little cupcake. Herein Lovey Loverpants showcases the labor of love, stitched by Auntie Haddy, inspired by Droolicious.

I cannot wait for that soft vernix-covered head to emerge so that I may don it with this crocheted cap, inspired by my favorite treat with a shelf life of forty-seven years.