When parents text

"B. (Brady) Martin just had second baby. By c-section. Two weeks early. Child downward facing." Wait--what? You don't get text messages like the above from your dad? Your old man doesn't regale you via text message about all the latest birth announcements and encounters with your grade school pals?

How odd.

After the above text message, I received the following one, also from Pop Cell which is how the old man is listed in my phone:

"No, I didn't. I will look for her. I'm still on 21."

Later I will text him, "It would appear that one was not intended for me."

He will text back and clarify that he had meant to send that to his co-counsel. Their client couldn't find her court room.

The old man doesn't know how to use his phone contacts. He has an iPhone. He can probably perform laser surgery with it. Isn't there an app for that? Instead he memorizes phone numbers. Like it's still 1986. Sometimes I get messages intended for my uncle Chip whose area code is the same as mine. Those are unmistakable.

He texts with perfect punctuation in legalese short hand, usually reporting about his pugs' latest exploits or responding thankfully to a picture of the kiddies that I sent him. He sends similar missives to Loverpants. In dude language mostly.

I don't get to see my old man more than a couple times a year. He is morally opposed to e-mail and is usually interrupted on a phonecall. Don't even talk about Skype. Seriously, perish the very thought of marrying a visual conversation in real time for the old man. He would sooner move to another state, which he hasn't done in his 60+ years.

But I get to send memoranda of love in a terse language via a digital screen every couple of days to the old man. And he responds in kind. Swiftly and with humor and affection.

Or with gems like this: "Highly unethical and morally repugnant. I'm a bit peeved. Love you guys lots and lots."

It's a good way for a daddy and a daughter to keep up in this busy world.

Spring Break 2013, as told by Baby Girl and Little Man

So for spring break, which is a really fun time where we can stay in our pajamas for hours in the morning, our mom said we had to get out of Daddy's hair so he could get better. So we drove and drove and drove to Savannah where Auntie Ashley lives. But on the way to Savannah? We stopped at a museum. With trains!

And Mommy took our picture outside of it but Tatum was trying to run inside the museum to see the trains.

And inside the museum, you just pressed this button and then the choo choo train came and there was a man with a rainbow sweater also looking at the train.

The big train inside was pretty cool.

The train table in the kids' room was pretty cool, also.

I liked dressing up in prairie clothes.

We got to climb on the real caboose.

Then we got to Auntie Ashley's house and we bounced on the air mattress and played with her dog Zeke while Mommy and Auntie Ashley laughed and cooked in the kitchen.

The next day we got to ride the Trolley. A man got on the Trolley whose name was Forrest. Even though Mommy said we shouldn't talk to strangers or take candy from them, Mommy said it was okay to talk to Forrest and take a chocolate from his box.

We went to a park that had an awesome playground. Mommy and Auntie Ashley were all excited about the fountains and the flowers but we were mostly excited about the playgrounds.

We went to an ice cream place called Leopold's.

There was a jukebox there. We put a coin in and did the Hokey Pokey. Well, mostly Mommy did the hokey pokey and we were embarrassed for her.

While we were waiting for the trolley to come pick us up again, we looked up at somebody's balcony and we saw this.

The Jepson Center is super cool and you can find these flowers made out of all recyclable materials.

Mommy said she has been friends with Auntie Ashley for 400 years and that is a very long time.

On the way home, we went to the Varsity and we got a Frosted Orange, as well as got these hats.

Three cheers for Spring Break!

Party Train

'Scuse me. Party train comin' throuuuuuugh. But, Kendra? You don't throw birthday parties? Especially for children. It's like...against your constitution. Or so you said.

Oh? Who said anything about a birthday party?

Oh, well I just thought, you know, since your firstborn turned five last week and you were talking about party trains that it had something to do with a --

Ahhh. Ah, yes, quite right. Well, I am still the same woman who is not a huge birthday party buff. Or a fan of baby showers. Or bridal showers. Or anything that involves sitting for long periods of time or that feels forced or requires me to wear nylons on a non-work day or that doesn't involve pinatas. I spend 5-6 days a week in company I don't get to choose. I need at least one day with a posse of my choosing.

I'm sorry, were you saying something about a party train?

Bah! Yes. Indeed. So, I did use the occasion of Baby Girl's turning five to invite some of my friends who just happen to have children who are in Baby Girl's sabbath school class to come for brunch. I may or may not have made a garland with Baby Girl's name on it as a rouse -- causing the partygoers to think it was all about Baby Girl when it was only 90% about her and a solid 10% dedicated to making the Smitten Kitchen french toast and baked eggs ranchero.

Well, that sounds selfish. And decadent.

Summarily selfish and decadent.

Do you have pictures?

Do I have pictures?

***

You can't play a princess video game without a princess ensemble. You just can't.