The Regimen

My granny has a gal pal who answers the phone, "This is the beauty!" Can you imagine? To have that sense of moxie!

I just answer the phone, "Hullo?" but I rarely answer the phone, let's be honest. When I'm in my 80s, who knows? Maybe I'll develop some telephonic pinache.

Here in my 30s, I am just trying to eat my vegetables, hit it hard at the gym, and get a good night's sleep. Two out of three ain't bad most weeks.

I'm no vain Lane, but I'm not a plain Jane either. I am still a Catholic schoolgirl in recovery, and to be honest some mornings I actually think my polyester triblend kickpleat skirt is waiting for me on a hanger in my closet. Then I awaken to the fact that I have to :GASP: pick out mah cloves!

When it comes to putting on mah face, it has to be quick and clean looking. Not that you asked for it, but I always love knowing what products people fancy. Here's some honesty as well as my beauty regimen.

Avant

Apres

Array o' Beauty

1. Josie Maran Natural Volume Lip Gloss in golden beige- this lip gloss feels as good as it looks. Non-tacky and yummy smelling, but not something obnoxiously Tinkerbell cotton candy-like. Know what I mean?

2. Josie Maran Natural Volume Argan Mascara - This is fine for everyday. Nothing dramatic. Best part is it washes off like nothin'.

3. Clinique High Lengths Mascara - If I can't find the above mascara, I use this one. It's excellent and is not clumpy at all.

4. fresh Sugar in Passion - My favorite tinted lip balm.

5. Amazing Cosmetics Concealer to Go - This is the world's greatest concealer. As you can observe, I have a touch of rosacea. This wee little tube gets the job done. Very pigmented so the tube will last you foreverrrr.

6. Josie Maran Beautiful Eyes - This eye shadow blends nicely. Nothing dramatic. Colors work well with my rosy/pale complexion and blue eyes.

7. and 8. are limited edition products by Mary Kay. I like the cooling bronzer - easy to apply and fake me out some high cheekbones.I love this blush to the depths. Just a hint of sparkle my cheeks.

9. Brushes by Mary Kay. Gots to have good tools to get the job done well.

Tips for Selling on eBay

A friend recently asked for an ebay primer and I was more than happy to share what I've learned from trial and error and more error in the vast e-mercantile that is eBay. Every few months, I get on a cleaning bender and find several items that could be eBay worthy. This leads me to my first tip: 1. Set aside a box for selling things in-season. Buyers generally don't want to load up on a snowsuit in July. Likewise, few people will be scanning the sales for a tube top in January. Some may, but the bidding wars seem to happen when you have a large stock of in-season goods.

2. Items that sell well, based on my experience: Brand new cosmetics Designer shoes, handbags Children's clothes from Hanna Anderson, mini-Boden, crewkuts, Matilda Jane, other chi chi purveyors Maternity clothes - especially office attire Work-out videos

3. For used baby items: group them in a lot. Sell in a 3 day sale, list Thursday with sales ending Sunday evening. I usually only charge $1 or so for shipping and have found that the bids on these lots rise more quickly.

4. For unused items with the tags still attached, list at a price that you feel a consignment store would charge.

5. Always, always get tracking on packages and hang on to the tracking info. until you are sure the package has been received.

6. Answer questions from potential buyers with as much information as is requested. Be transparent about any flaws in the item.

7. Try to resolve any disputes through messages with buyers; a passive-aggressive low rating of a seller will only hurt you as a seller (lest the buyer retaliate).

8. Reuse boxes, envelopes, packaging. Good for the earth and envelopes can be expensive and will cut into your profit.

Feel really free to share in the comments field any tried and true advise that has worked for you.

Happy selling!

Women Can't Have it All. But We Can Talk About Some Things.

I'm riding on the caboose car of the train racing to respond to Anne Marie-Slaughter's essay, "Why Women Can't Have It All" in this month's The Atlantic. I know many of you have read it and already discussed it, but I just finally read the whole thing on vacation last week. I won't attempt to analyze the essay point for point, but I will encourage everyone who has a stake in preserving the American dream to read this essay. It is as comprehensive as it is thoughtful, and offers some very specific and (in my mind) achievable solutions to the problems with which women and families are dealing in the workplace and at home today. There is just one point that Slaughter raises that I want to share. Slaughter is an accomplished professional and a mother of two teenage boys.  She is a former dean at Princeton and senior level director in DC.  She says that for years she has taken very express measures to bring her children into the work conversation. That is, if she is running late for a meeting, she will not obliquely excuse herself. She will say it was because she had to drop off her son at practice, if that is the real reason. When she is introduced at professional conferences, she insists that the person introducing her mention that she is *also* a mother. She does not advocate gushing on about one's children while at work. But she does think that women will do each other a great service in refusing to be silent about that which matters most to them.

I agree what Slaughter's preaching, but I find it tremendously difficult to put into practice.

I have worked for some exceedingly anti-family organizations. Work and being present in the workplace was much celebrated; taking time off for family priorities was not. It was often surreptitiously used as a strike against a person's performance.

I am glad to no longer be serving said organizations.

Still, I find it hard to talk about my priorities in the workplace. I want to compartmentalize. I want to not appear un-serious about the work for which I am paid to do. I am fortunate to have female and male mentors who encourage faith first, family second, work third. It is still something with which I struggle.

And struggling is okay. I no longer try to find the balance in my work, but I am ever more encouraged by Slaughter's essay to live out my priorities, not only in deed, but in word. I don't want to deceive my students that they can have it all, because life is about choices and compromise. Some days you excel in one capacity, others you are walking on the treadmill while reading your work for tomorrow while texting with your husband and then you get home and the kids are all asleep and that is awful because you barely saw them, but wonderful because now you can get some grading done.

You can't have it all; no one can. Not even the richest most successful people in the world. Everyone is trying to be more present. Everyone is railing back against the you-have-a-smartphone-therefore-you-are-available-all-the-time song and dance. The song's music is catchy at first but the steps become increasingly more difficult as the multiple beats and multiple instruments syncopate....

I am choosing to live and tell the truth: Maintaining my priorities is a constant struggle, but it's certainly one for which I am willing to fight.