The most epically interesting #blog post ever that you can't afford to miss

Have you read the most interesting blog post ever? This blog post is SO full of #win. Maybe the world's greatest blog post, written by a woman who knows.  This brilliant young woman in backwoods TN is about to shut things down. You do NOT want to miss this epic blog post. You will not believe what this woman in Tennessee just did.

Here are just 3 reasons why you do not want to miss this:

1. A woman in Tennessee says the internet ISN'T making us stupid.

2. The same woman in Tennessee who said the internet isn't making us stupid has something else to say.

3. A certain woman in Tennessee believes that The Internet Really Believes that we are all stupid.

Do you believe what this woman in Tennessee just said? She said WE are smarter than the internet believes. What that means might make you spazz. This freckled, frugal woman in Tennessee just might make you think twice about internet content. I hope I'd be as courageous as this woman who thinks WE ARE THE SMARTEST creatures ever.

Ever think about whether snails ever cry? Forget it. Listen to this woman in her thirties. To the Internet Who Curates Its Content: this woman thinks You're Dumb.

Here are a few things to remember if you ever run into this woman in Tennessee who thinks Internet Curation is Lame:

1. Internet curation isn't All Wrong. It's just the part about Headline Marketing.

2. Headline Marketing? Never heard of it? This woman in Tennessee says, You can't afford NOT to!

3. That woman in Tennessee is Plain Tired of Headline Marketing.

4. Headlines don't always have to use numbers and superlatives, says a woman in Tennessee!

5. Tennessee Internet Woman says sometimes stories need no qualification.

6. Caffeinating the headlines doesn't make for a better story!!!!!! says a woman in Tennessee.

That woman might have gotten a little TOO real for the internet. That is ONE story you will NOT see on the 6 o'clock news. Woman in Tennessee: 'I know I have homicidal feelings toward Headline Marketing.'

But that's not all she says.  She says she thinks this content curation is still evolving. Did you catch that? A Bible-thumping woman in Tennessee believes in evolution! Wait, was the prior headline just an #epic fail? Ever wondered what does evolution have to do with internet curation? A woman in Tennessee is ready to Get Real about headline marketing evolution. And she won't go away. In 10 years, we'll be glad that woman in Tennessee spoke up about that one thing that mattered.

Whatever it was.

Totes magotes share this on every social media interface you have or you will die like everyone who didn't forward the e-mail chains with the punctuation marks that formed the shape of a robot in 1998.

3 ways #frozen gets it right about older sisters

You know I am the mother of a young daughter and therefore I was practically conscripted to see "Frozen" which...was not a chore at all.  In spite of the absurdly small waists and absurdly big doe eyes of the main characters Ana and Elsa, I enjoyed it immensely. I know you have all overdosed on the soundtrack and have gone back to watch it in 3D and you are SUCH a fangirl of the girl power message of the film, but, to quote Princess Anna, "Can I say something crazy?" Because I really think our heroine is Elsa. And here are 3 reasons why (spoiler alert):

1. Elsa gives up a life of interaction in order to shield her little sister Anna from harm.

This is what older sisters do. We have powers that can be used for good or evil--okay, so all of us do. By virtue of being an elder sister, though, we are endowed with a special blend of power and pressure. We pave the way for things. We break our parents in. We are the kids that they test their flashcards on, their ability to negotiate The Terms of Things with us. They tell us stuff, much of which we wish they didn't. We overhear things and we work awfully hard, just like Elsa does, to shield our younger sibling(s) from these truths.

Anna doesn't understand this and she gets all the sympathy when she has no one to help her build a snowman. What she doesn't understand, of course, is that the person who can help her build the best snowman, to help her have the most fun making the coolest things, also has the power to destroy everything, and this is really really painful for older siblings. We want so much to be cool with everything, to give our sibs rides places and teach them stuff that no one else is going to teach them, but we know too much. We know the consequences and they are grave.

2. Elsa has to grieve alone, grow up alone, accept the throne alone.

Think about Princes William and Harry for a moment. Who's allowed to be the baller? Who's allowed to run amok in college, to keep calm and frat boy on?

Harry, right? He's the younger one. He's free to be. William, on the other hand, he's no Free Willy. He has to be upstanding. Everyone knows he's heir to the throne. He carries the burden of eldership, of mentorship. He can't disgrace the crown in the same way a younger sibling can, a younger sibling who is not as accountable to the lineage as directly as big bro is.

Anna, as the younger sister, could conceivably have left the castle gates and pursued friendships and romantic relationships freely. Instead, we are led to believe that she stays inside the castle until Elsa's coronation. Elsa, however, was quarantined to her room so as not to harm anyone with her powers to freeze minds and hearts.

I have felt this way for at least 3,004 years. As the oldest of my siblings and all of my cousins, I wish the I did not have to be the first one to leave home, to go to college, to get married, to have children. Okay, so I didn't HAVE to do all those things. I could have waited, but I chose to do all those things when I did, and that was first in line (I think? Anyone else get secretly knocked up? I'll find out somehow, I'm the oldest, afterall.) There's just something appealing about someone else setting up shop in the Promised Land and sending you a postcard "Awaiting your arrival--xoxo, Your Older, Wiser Cousin."

Anna is the supposed hero of the film because she saves Arendelle. But she's also terribly hasty and impulsive and creates a whole lotta mess in her wake. Elsa abandons the kingdom, sure. But she also has the best of intentions in secluding herself because she knows a few things, like how you shouldn't get engaged to some guy the same night you meet him at a party.

Older sisters, and maybe all older siblings, know they are under the microscope. They know their decisions can't be rash because too many people are affected, too much residue will trickle down. Elsa is a neutral character in Hans Christian Andersen's "Snow Queen" tale, but Elsa is rewritten as a protagonist in the Disney adaptation. In "Let it Go (The Reprise)," she tells Anna, "Go back home/Your life awaits/Go enjoy the sun and/Open up the gates."  I just don't think you can argue that it takes guts to live alone and it's lonely at the top (of the mountain and the siblings pile).

3. Elsa still listens to Anna.

Her love for Anna does not trump her ability to pull rank on Anna. She listens and cares and knows that ceasing the eternal winter is her job. But she is not so arrogant as to say, "I've got this." In fact, Elsa says the opposite. She doesn't know how to cease winter. Still, she cares enough about her kingdom and her sister to leave the mountain where she is safe among her frozen sculptures to go try and remedy the deep freeze with Anna. This is also an accurate portrayal of elder sibling heroics. We know we are better with and because of our little sibs. They give us the courage to do what we need to do. They believe in us enough that we can carpe diem or carpe frozen, as the case may be.

I am forever indebted to my siblings for teaching me humility most especially, among other virtues. For loving me when I was and am undeserving. And for sitting with me in the 2nd row of "Frozen" along with my munchkins :)

2013 #recap

Oh, hey, December 2013. Have you met months January - November of this year? 1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before? Went to Savannah, GA (three times--yowsa!). Attended the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference. Led a group of students to ATL - CNN Headquarters and World of Coca-Cola. Started my third consecutive school year teaching. Signed with a literary agent. Began styling with Keaton Row.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
 Let us just take a moment to be thankful I am speeding ticket free for yet another year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
 Yes, welcome North West! Ha. Also, Luke, Scarlett, Lois, Vivienne, James, just to name a few new blessings in our circle.

4. Did anyone close to you die? RIP Auntie Mare.

5. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? A book deal.

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
 I really enjoyed my children this summer. I know that sounds like a non-accomplishment, but the transition from teaching to being a stay-at-home mama to two adorable punks in the death heat of Tennessee summer is something I find difficult. I planned a really great summer for us and we bonded in a significant way.

7. What was your biggest failure? I didn't stick to our financial budget as much as I wanted to and needed to, but I am back on track with that.

8. Did you suffer illness or injury? Praises be, no!

[showmyads]

9. What was the best thing you bought? I got Loverpants a Sunday delivery of the NYT for the year. Such a great citizenvestment.

10. What did you get really excited about? My sister TP got engaged! This video

11. What was the best book you read this year? Toss up between: Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis and

My Korean Deli: Risking It All for a Convenience Store

12. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 – happier or sadder? I change from happy to sad 2394028343 times/day. – thinner or fatter? About the same – richer or poorer? So much better (see also: condo albatross gone)

13. What was your favorite TV program? Parenthood. Orange is the New Black (when is Season #2 btw?). Downton.

14. What was your favorite music from this year?
 Loved seeing Sara Bareilles. Love this video by the Killers.

15. What were your favorite films of the year? Gatsby and, honestly, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 was not the worst sequel ever.

16. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? On my 33rd birthday, I think I got a massage?

17. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
 My children are actively learning how to do this thing called Being Human from watching me. And that is a humbling, sobering thing.