Setting the Record Straight

The lead writer and co-editors of Kendraspondence, otherwise known as Kendra, Lovey Loverpants, and Baby Girl, have, at times, been blessed with the company of our faithful readers. These same readers have at times commented that site headquarters appear different than as depicted from pictures posted on the internet. So, in an effort to avoid further disappointing or misleading our readers who may become our future visitors, we earnestly attempt to set the record straight. Let us dispel any further falsehoods about ourselves or our lifestyle...

1.) TRUE: Kendra does indeed suffer from SAD and undergoes daily light treatments in the basement:

2.) FALSE: We are good neighbors.

3.) FALSE: Baby Girl is our only child. She is just the only one we typically allow ourselves to be photographed with, but there are some exceptions.

4.) FALSE: We live in the city. We live close to the city. But not so urbane that we don't have somewhere to park our John Deere.

5.) FALSE: Lovey Loverpants has not appeared on TV. He is actually the token Asian on "Laguna Beach: Season One."

6.) FALSE: Speaking of token Asians, Loverpants is the only Asian Kendra has ever dated. There were a few other suitors, but none were as charming nor had Women's Studies bibliographies floating around their dorm rooms. That sort of sealed the deal for K and LL.

7.) TRUTH: Lovey Loverpants has had some cosmetic surgery. To remove the obelisk jutting out of his skull.

8.) TRUTH: Kendra has dyslexia.

9.) FALSE: Men cannot wear haltertops.

10.) TRUTH: Kendra is Korean.

All Before 12:46 p.m.

I remember we have a play date today. At our house. I pack the bags to go back to the library. They are overdue.

I do not shower. I did that yesterday.

We need to go grocery shopping.

I pack the bags to go to the library and the reusable grocery bags because I am a green mom.

We load up the car with the library books and the diaper bag and the reusable grocery bags.

I talk to the Jehovah's Witnesses about places I have never been in Michigan.

On our way to the library, we get detoured.

Do I have the library books?

I pull over. I forgot the library books. Gah.

We go back home. Wave to the Jehovah's Witnesses.

I go back inside, leaving Baby Girl in car in the driveway, hoping the Witnesses do not judge me.

The library books are nowhere in sight.

Probably because they are already in the car, where I packed them the first time.

We go grocery shopping.

Baby Girl tries to do dismount out of cart 135,308,304,358,723.03 times.

Get business call from National Beer Wholesalers Association. Long story.

We drive past library.

We get home. It is sprinkling.

Carry 3 heavy bags of groceries and 20 lb. 8 month-old in rain into house.

Unpack groceries.

Walk into bathroom, wonder if am mom that wears make-up to playdates in own home.

Decide am not.

Start making beautiful sandwiches.

Walk back into bathroom to spot clean floor with Kleenex.

See Baby Girl crawl for first time.

Decide am mom that wears mascara to playdates in own home.

Feel like crying a little for no reason at all.

Have enjoyable playdate. Eat sandwiches. Am glad put on mascara.

Take back books to library. All end up on desk of wrong branch.

Will pay late fees later. Much later.

***

My friend Elisa got back from Korea and gave me at least six of the warmest hugs ever. She also sent me these photos she took (is photog student) which were like hugs in my inbox.

This photo captures perfectly the glow of my daughter.

This photo captures perfectly the humor Elisa brings to my life.

This photo captures perfectly the feeling I have when holding Baby Girl at any any time of day or sleepless zombie hour of night.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Sunday Morning

The Loverpants family wakes at 6:30a.m., fresher than a fistful of daisies. They proceed to don matching outfits with cute fleece running vests (natch!) and they are soon off and running as a tight pack, Papa John pushing Baby Girl in the running stroller with Mama K. just a few comfortable paces behind. The Sunday churchies tip their hats to the Loverpack, promising they'll pray for the tiny family that morning (for sure!). After a few brisk miles, the Loverpack returns home where Mama K. brews a little coffee for Papa J. on his way to work. Baby Girl practices her crawling and soon retires for her morning nap. Mama K. does the same. OR... Baby Girl wakes at 6:30a.m. which was five minutes after Mama K. fed her at 2:55a.m. Papa John brings her into bed where the force of her noogie is so strong, the whole Loverpack is forced out of bed before they have their wits about themselves. Everybody wears yesterday's clothes from the rag bag, including Baby Girl who rocks the windsuit that makes her look like a boy. All head out for a run whereby Papa John hits his stride within minutes and Mama K. is sucking the everliving dust off of his heels. Papa John proceeds to forget to give Mama K. the nod when he crosses the busy intersection, causing Mama K. to lose her family and is left to run on her own with an abiding fear that she will surely be pillaged long before the Sunday churchies are strolling to the morning services. They return home where Mama K. still doesn't know if the coffee pot works and sends Papa John off to work and wrangles Baby Girl into a nap which lasts for twenty. Whole. Minutes.

***

Our son, daughter, the track star.