25 for Nothing, revisited

I noticed the Momastery revisited the 25 Things Meme and I thought it would be a ripe occasion for doing so here, as well: Write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.

1. I panicked when I went to Social Security and somehow lost my parent-given middle name. Even though my mom has worked at Social Security since God was a baby. My former middle name was Colleen. Now it is Stanton, which is my maiden name, but which I use as part of my last name. Which is not complicated at all.

My name is still important to me but my identity is more important. Example, my husband, my kids, my family, and my students all call me completely disparate names. I dig this.

2. I have a lead foot. And the speeding tickets to prove it.

I still enjoy driving fast but I have eased off the accelerator. A bit. Sometimes. I haven't gotten a speeding ticket KNOCK ON WOOD since 2006.

3. I haven't grown since the eighth grade when I leveled off at 4'10".

But I have gained and lost weight since then like you wouldn't believe.

4. I have read _Prep_ by Curtis Sittenfeld twice. Sittenfeld is the best author to capture the sadness of being a teenager.

But now she goes and writes a paranormal novel and I just don't even know.

5. I was a sad, sad teenager.

And sad teenagers grow up to be rather sanguine adults sometimes. 

6. I gave my high school graduation speech in which I attempted to do the lawnmower dance on stage.

I do love to dance with an invisible lawnmower.

7. I bite my tongue and snicker on the inside when people recommend _Eat, Pray, Love_ and _The Purpose-Driven Life_ as books to help people on their spiritual journey.

I used to be so disgustingly smug.

8. I would know nothing about my lady land if I had not gotten pregnant and given birth. Books about women's health and lady lands are of no interest to me.

Thinking about Lady Lands still makes me faint.

9. I earned my license to sell life insurance in Massachusetts. I stayed up all night studying and took the test the next day. It scares me that someone like I could be licensed to sell life insurance, something about which I persist in knowing very, very little.

I persist in knowing very, very little about way more than life insurance. Trust.

10. I have never written a lab report without shamelessly leeching off of someone knowledgeable in the sciences. I generally think lab reports are the worst thing, second maybe to infanticide and having to pack a suitcase.

Packing a suitcase isn't even on my map of worst things, but writing a lab report and infanticide are decidedly still there.

11. I have attended both of my parents' weddings.

Life is wild and wonderful and full of suprise, isn't it?

12. I do not like watching videos on the internet or on a compooper in general; I think it is the geekiest thing.

I can now appreciate how this can be a little bit handy, the video viewed on the computer screen.

13. I have never: smoked weed, gone dancing at a gay bar, eaten pickle relish, snowboarded, gotten arrested, been to California, or given the bird whilst driving.

Oh, so much has changed. Like how I've been to California!

14. I would like to adopt from foster care someday.

I have no business adopting anyone from anywhere is what I have learned. 

15. I do poorly in classes with assigned novels; I don't like to be given time constraints for reading a book.

I have no point of reference for this since I no longer take classes with assigned novels.

16. I try to read the Bible every day.

Still true.

17. I did a lot of anti-abortion protesting in my youth. Now, I'm not interested in furthering the polarity of the issue.

Still abundantly true.

18. My adult weight has ranged from 83 lbs. (age 17) to 160 (12 mos. pregnant). I think that is just ridiculous.

Well, whatever. Why did I tell you that anyway? 

19. I spent a month in China in 2002, on false pretenses of doing a study tour, but mostly just carousing around like a complete Ugly American hedonist.

Yeah. That was ugly.

20. I have a habit of reflecting upon everything funny that has happened to me in life right before I fall asleep. My husband refers to this ritual as "Going through the Dirty Dozen."

Ain't nobody got time for 'dat.

21. I sing in grocery aisles, on public buses, in the shower, in your mom's shower, and very loudly at church. I like to make a joyful, albeit off-key noise.

This is probably even more true than in 2009.

22. I have only at age 28 begun getting along with my mother.

At age 32, I really love my mom. We get along quite well.

23. I overcorrect for a childhood of frugality by avoiding the purchase of generic soda and Payless shoes.

I crack my own self up sometimes. Still true.

24. The best advice one of my parents gave me was to remember that I am not indispensable to anything or anyone. Humbling, isn't it?

Still humbling.

25. I love "Mad Men." You?

I like 'Mad Men' but after season 4 it seemed like all of the characters were beyond redemption. I like Downton Abbey and Parenthood more now. More redemption.