A moment of vanity to start the week. And a moment of gratefulness, too. I have a vast catalogue of pictures. Shoeboxes full of ones I took with my 35mm film cam, poorly composed photos in our dimly lit family room, high school dance photos where I could sharpen a pencil with my bony elbow, messy college photos of bygone debauchery, and eleventy million of my husband, my daughter, and increasingly fewer of me.
Which is why I treasure this photo. It is one of my favorite photos of myself. If pictures tell a thousand words, this photo exceeds its word count.
I am 24. I am working 2 jobs, I have 2 roommates, I am getting married in 2 months. Which is why my church friends, the most faithful of the friends I have met in Boston, are throwing me a surprise bridal shower. I am never surprised. Surprises elude me. At this time in my life, I find most people transparent, most experiences in life a let-down, and nothing really surprises me. I have been rejected from all of the top law schools to which I applied, I have no sense of joy about my upcoming wedding (only stress and disillusionment). I am going through the motions of a confused twentysomething and trying to understand why all of my life's decisions are needing to be made NOW and why they are all hinging on ME.
And then my girlfriends throw me in a salad spinner, rinse me off, pump me up, and whirl me around. I knock on Eunis' apartment door and there is laughter from within. "Here's your notebook back, Eunis. Sorry to interrupt you -- I'll let you go---OH! OHHHH!" I have never been so surprised in such a joyful way. By such joyful friends. It has been a long winter and I am finally feeling the thaw. Lovey Loverpants is there, and I cannot stop hugging him for helping to pull this off. I cannot wait to get married. I am thrilled, blessed, and surprised to experience this combination of feelings all at once, at age 24.