How is it November, the second to last month of the year of our Lord two thousand and eight? How is it almost time to put together our tax documents, and where was it that I worked formerly, for a paycheck and what is that again? A paycheck? Who's president? Is it that black guy that the media has already presumed is in office? What's fashionable these days? Is it okay for me to still wear tights under dress type sweater things? Or is that out like Lindsay Lohan (in more ways than one)? What do you feed a nine month old that only likes pasta? Can you hide stuff in pasta? Like a brick of tofu? Can you do that? Should I join a gym? Isn't it kind of Americonsumerist to be a gym member when running and sweating are free? What's Zumba? Do you need a special uniform to zumbarize? Is there going to be a longitudinal study some day of women who suffer from pernicious kidney stones and bad skin because of overexposure to Zumba? Do you have your holiday shopping done? Where can I get free shipping? In this economy, is everyone staying home to make Holly Hobbie homemade goodies as gifts? Or will I be the only one giving canned mustard as a gift, as if it should be a prelude, stocking stuffer, but really it's the whole gift that took me 46 hours to make after breaking half the jars? Am I the last one to read Three Cups of Tea? When will I not be the last person to read/see things? Should we have more children? What if my uterus explodes if I try for VBAC next time? Oh, going back to the economy and gift giving, where can I earn some fast cash? Does the Tooth Fairy leave bigger bucks for wisdom teeth? How's the tin can collecting business? Did I remember my Nana's birthday? Is she on facebook? Do you tip the postal worker? How much? Have I shared how happy (gushingly) I am to be a mother? Did you know Baby Girl can pull self to standing AND gives gratuitous sloppy baby kisses with suction on the cheek? Did you know that my husband tells me before I go to sleep that I have to put away the Dirty Dozen, aka all of the questions I have in my head that I am powerless to answer at 11p.m.? Does he know that I only wish it were a dozen? ***
Did you know it was in vain that I tried to tape up pictures of other babies for Baby Girl to talk to (in her lonely only child state)?
Did you know that rock-a-bye-baby is even more entertaining the older baby gets?
Did you know that a Reese's chased down with a Diet Coke tabulates a calorie count of zero?