OnDemanding more of ourselves

I had to call the cops the other day. There were some teens diddling parts in the playground near my house. At 4p.m. It's a funny story. But it is underscored by a sad reality. They would have kept going in broad daylight had not the good constable showed up.


I'm scanning the various work-out routines available on OnDemand.

Let's see, do I want "Slim and Sexy Abs," "Girls Next Door Work out at the Playboy Mansion," "Carmen Electra in Bed," or "Striptease to Please"?

How about none of the above.

If I can't make it to the gym, I do like to work out from home, and the OnDemand work-outs are nice because they are all in short increments and I don't have to pay extra. But honestly, it is hard to find one that is not set on a pole dancing stage, does not suggest you use a feather boa rather than a jump rope, and does not suggest that this work-out is all For Your Man, rather than for doing a body good.

Not to be Prudey McPruderpockets, but when did exercise become exersex? I mean seriously, can I please just order up a Jane Fonda in a leotard set to some corny base beat and get my leg lifts on? And who WEARS these shirts to work-out in? How do you move, much less get into these halter slut slingy straightjacket contraptions?

Continuing on this editorial, how do you go get a job when your resume includes "Supporting role: FlirtyGirl Fitness" and expect to be taken seriously?


I can almost not even blame the teens getting busy at the park. I wonder if they told the officer they were just getting some exercise.