Honk, Taxi

Have you ever seen the bumper sticker that says, "Honk if you're Amish"? I've seen it a few times. I laugh uproariously every time I do. I mean...that's so funny, right? Amish don't drive car--wai-- that's so, so funny. *** He's wearing skater shoes. Indie jeans. An androgynous haircut, but edgy-like. I pronounce his name, which in English is a verb, conjugated in the past tense. I give myself props for pronouncing his name correctly.

I can tell English is not his first language.

I use him as a proper noun in the sentence I am diagramming for the class. Past Tense Verb and I thank you for your support. Your support was important to Past Tense Verb and me.

At the end of the second meeting of class, Past Tense Verb approaches me. My name is Past Tense Verb, but, "I am girl."

This is new. I fumble to apologize, do I apologize, is it better to apologize, omg, OMG, is my tongue actually unfurling out of my mouth like a robot trying to reboot itself?


Our front tire had a nail puncturing it last week, which I learned after Loverpants took it to the tire place, which was after he came home and swapped the spare with the punctured tire in the freezing cold, which was after I called my friend whose wife just had TWINS to take me to the nappy and ferry me home with the kids, which was after we had taken a TAXI with zero carseats to the nanny (good thing my boy wears a helmet, heh!), which was after I called four different taxi services, which was after I wondered if I honked loud enough, would the Amish come and pick me up?

*** Dear Winter. You are made of terrible. But I've still got my wits about me. Yours, Kendra