Dear Baby Girl, Do you see the strange hefty frisbee-like object in the corner, there on the floor in the first picture below? It is a cleaning device. Some call it the Roomba. Daddy and I call it Alphonso. We are fond of Alphonso, though you demonstrated to us this week that you are not so fond of Alphonso. You stared at it with curiosity as it roved along, orbiting while it cleaned. When I placed you on the floor so that you could get a closer look, your arms flapped rapidly and you let out a shriek I had never heard you utter.
You were terrified.
Imagine my own terror, though, in realizing that this would be one of the very few times when I could swiftly rescue you from one of the many things in this life that suck.