A novel departure from the script

Here at Kendraspondence, we know you rely on us as your trusted source for the latest information on fracking, Fantasy Football picks of the week, and vaccinating your children. But just for this once, we are going to depart from script and go totally rogue. That's right! We're going to showcase a few of the things that Kendra has been bedazzling. We know what you're thinking! That can't be! Kendra has final exams to prepare and grade. She's got holiday open houses to host. Au contrair, dear readers, for herein we explore the fruits of her distraction and procrastination.... There have been mantles to festoon.

The gumdrops were all Loverpants and the kids.

There have been bald, brassy lamps to buy at Goodwill for $3...

...which are delightful to paint and offer a proper hat.

There were salt scrubs to make for my teaching assistants, who deserve so much more than an upcycled mason jar filled with natural goodness, but don't we all, really....

I've been persuading my young'ns that getting clean is not just as much fun as Saturday Night Fever, it practically IS a disco.

Even Loverpants has been getting crafty. The man was so fastidious in preparing the layers to our haystacks-in-a-cup that he has it DOWN, young. Down to an artform.

I also tried these cookies as I had all the ingredients on hand, but these little puppies were so amazing, because parchment paper because chocolate and peanut butter because try them.

This was also one cigarette lighter short of a a MacGuyver innovation. We didn't have any receptacle for displaying classy Coke bottles and also keeping them on ice at our holiday open house, so I busted open a hatbox and threw a plastic bag in it. Done and done.

The students we adopted from our church were wanting to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. With Coke.

Happy Holidays, you. Drink Coke and be merry. This post was not in any way sponsored by Coca-Cola, though it should have been.

Lately I have...

-made a good number of salt scrubs and other kinds of unctions for Christmas presents; -made pumpkin creme brulee;

-decided Pinterest should have a point system, much like a credit card company, whereas the currency with Pinterest would be pinned projects you actually did, like make salt scrubs or pumpkin creme brulee, and you would earn points toward gift cards to Williams-Sonoma from whence you first got the pins in the first place;

- felt happy at work;

[showmyads]

- thought heavily upon moving to Australia;

- got my second Stitch Fix - this one was just as good as the first except most items were higher in pricepoint;

- asked Loverpants if we could take the kids on a staycation locally, hotel and cable TV and pool and all, fully expecting him to say no, not that he is a big naysayer but I didn't think he'd embrace the idea, but he was all about it!! So that's what we did on Turksgiving Eve. Awesome and cray. Cray Cray Awesome;

- helped a prospective student with her college essay, from reading and editing drafts to having a sitdown brainstorm sesh. I think that's what I want to be when I grow up. A college application essay coach;

- had a fun visit with my mum and her hub.

- been amazed by Little Man's colloquial and inventive vocabulary;

- missed my sister;

- contemplated another baby, which I do probably every other day, but only hypothetically, and only because I like to think about what we would name a Wee Lee 3.0;

- read the 1992 version of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace;

- obsessed about budgeting and debt-busting;

- sold some excess stuff;

- bought a lamp at Goodwill for $3 that is totally perfect for my purposes;

- gave up on telling God how I was going to be more devoted and just plain asked God how He wanted me to have a better relationship with Him and He said plainly that I should strive to always have my Bible with me. So that's what I'm gonna do;

- realized that I am entirely soft about winter cold and would not choose to endure another Northern winter full-on;

- festooned my home with Christmas, and for the first time ever, my kids legitimately helped and made it a pleasant experience. Gloria! In excelsis Deo!

This post was inspired by Chiara. What about you? If you write an inventory post, be sure to link up below in the comments, hey?

Don't be a retail Schmuck. All year long! #thanksmas #blackfriday

The righteous remnant is already waving its mighty stick. "Keep stores closed on Thanksgiving!" the remnant cries, "Let those poor people be with their families!" They rail against the opening of stores on the holiest of holy day of Thanksmas. They stand in staunch opposition to it and advertise their vehemence all over the social media, and then a mere hours later they are Instagramming the heck out of the Black Friday mayhem. Because forcing a man to work for double overtime on Thursday night is radically different from forcing a man to work on Black Friday at a regular hourly wage?

I don't dedicate a whole lot of bandwidth to pondering whether or not we should open or close stores on certain days. What I do care a great deal about are fair wages, equal employment opportunities, consumer protections. Which is why, having worked plenty of retail (shout-out to Ann Taylor, Paper Source, the now-defunct Copley Flair to name a few), I'd like to speak to a few more values that transcend the Christmas retail blitz.

Here is some food-for-thought on the retail life all year long:

1. You are a VIP customer. Just like everybody else. Although the retail associates are trained to make you believe otherwise, exercise a little common courtesy, especially as the holidays approach. If your cashmere sweater cannot be found at Gap North, and the associate offers to call Gap West to see if it's in supply, this is a kind gesture, and exceedingly helpful since the retail associate probably knows the personnel at the other store. But if there are heaps of other customers waiting to be rung up, perhaps you can offer to let others go ahead of you. Or! Perhaps consider making the call yourself on your handy cordless calling device right there in your pocket!

2. Bob Barker is dead. Now it's your job to hand out hugs and prizes. Growing old is hard, y'all. Your sight goes, your memory goes, even your tastebuds start to fade. Let's be kind to our elder customers who may need a hand with a door, who might not be able to carry all their parcels, who might look confused as to where they parked the Buick in the parking lot. Bob Barker is no longer there to hug little old ladies and make their days with his tanned, pristine persona. So be a Bob Barker to your elders at the mall, even if it's not your paid job to do so, and maybe someday someone will be one to you.

3. There are freeways and then there are shoulders to the road. Even if stores are not clearly marked with passing lanes and exit ramps, there are places where the taking of a selfie or the sending of a text message are only acceptable if you are an aboriginal from the Australian Bush country who has never been inside a Target before. Otherwise, you are likely causing a shopping cart traffic jam or just being a total retail schmuck. So pull your cart off the main artery and into the pet food aisle or a dressing room and complete your e-gram.

4. Everyone gets a turn. I promise. If you stand in line without cutting anyone, eventually you will get to the front. But remember how many people were in front of you. All those folks? They may have had multiple returns/exchanges/coupon codes that expired with Poor Ol’ Lyndon B. Johnson. Exercise patience with the retail associates. They are probably fried and their throats are probably sore from speaking in a holiday happy octave and they are tired from standing, too. So be the change you want to see in the checkout at Macy’s. Do your mindfulness exercises or finally get around to following Ryan Reynolds on Twitter or check out the new Greetabls.

And you? What are your Retail Absolutes?