Review: #TFIOS the Movie (no spoilers)

My unsolicited thoughts on "The Fault in Our Stars" the movie (sans spoilers, of course):

The Book v. The Movie, Thoughts: - The book was better, obviously, but the dialogue in the movie more believable.

Performances: - Debatable whether actor who played Augustus Waters was old enough to shave. - Directors made his part much more human versus the sort of incredibly positive man-boy of the book. - Shailene Woodley gave the performance of a lifetime as she immortalized role of Hazel; the breathy voice delivery was perfect; all emotional cues seemed perfectly organic.

The sex scene: - Going to defer to Annie F. Downs on this matter here because she speaks to The Issues of it better than I. - However, taking morality off the table, aesthetically the scene is beautiful; these kids and their swoony bedroom eyes though! - I also wonder whether the directors took into consideration that both of these kids would have been experienced in getting naked in front of strangers, given their medical histories, when they scripted them to be so comfortable in front of each other.

Hamartia: - Hazel pronounces this incorrectly. I felt wronged! But maybe it was a directorial decision for a kid who was mainly homeschooled (?)

The Ugly Cry: - I did get teary at the end but not overly so. It didn't feel contrived but the whole ending was handled really nicely. And by nicely I mean, as nicely as you can handle the meat-mallet cruelty of the end. - It was almost comical how much audible wailing was happening in our theater.

Recommendations: - Definitely go at a high-teenage-audience-member-per-capita hour. Like not the late late show. It really adds to the atmosphere to have teenagers filing up and down the aisles and walking in packs of 12 and asking each other to trade seats so they can sit next to each other. - If you are really opposed to this whole movie/book concept and want to criticize my brand of Christianity for supporting it with my cash moneys, I would recommend you engage someone else. I teach millennials and within the framework of pop culture, this book/movie fosters some great opportunities for dialogue.

Review: The Pack Sack #playPackSack

The worst kind of reviews are the ones that make products sound like they are going to revolutionize your life and let you retire now, while also giving you a side of lunchtime liposuction and, if you act now, they'll even throw in a free cookie cutter shaped like a moose. This review of the PackSack will not make hollow promises like that. I will just offer you the facts.

Fact the first being that my wonderful student Ashley is interning for the PackSack in California and she asked me, in exchange for a free Pack Sack, if I wouldn't share my thoughts on it.

Happily, I will, Ashley!

Being that I am the mother of two active kids, I am a fan of products that are both affordable, especially since I lose things fail to remember my possessions everywhere and end up replacing many of them. So first of all, the PackSack retails for $3.99 or 3 for $10.99. Won't break the bank, players.

The PackSack will carry up to 45 lbs. which, in case you were wondering, is probably the heaviest grocery bag you are going to be hauling anyway, or the heaviest 4 y.o. you are going to be--I mean. The sack should not be used to transport toddlers. It is made of polyester so, much like your dad's leisure suit from 1972, you will not be able to destroy it, ever.

Another merit of the PackSack is that it has this handy drawstring closure device. I am sure there is a more technical name for it, but you can go ahead and stuff that in your PackSack. I can see my kids being able to wad up their wet swimsuits in the bag and drawstring shut it so it won't get our car all damp on the way home from the pool, versus tucking their soggy swimwear into their towels which they will allow to unravel 232849038423 times before we get from the pool locker room to the car. In this way, I am playing the #playPackSack game for the month of June, which you can learn more about here.

You can also read all about Lauren Cannon, the woman entrepreneur (womanpreneur, to be sure) whose idea for the bag came whilst surfing. Gnarly. Lauren, Ashley and their team want to eliminate the use of plastic bags. A noble mission and one that I support when I do not forget or lose my PackSack. PackSacks, plural, since for $4 a pop, I can afford to buy more. Yay, PackSack.

If you would like to purchase a PackSack, you can order through the site or check out the retail partners. Or, if you'd like to review one on your blog, get in touch with the PackSack Posse!

On taking my kids to B-Dub

The only reason I knew of this establishment in our little downtown walking district is because Loverpants had taken the kids there before and called it a successful time. There were reports of children (whom I birthed) willfully consuming food matter in a restaurant, and actually behaving themselves in a public place, versus behaving like those dancing noodles that are often scene flagging your attention at car washes or the like.

So I suppose you could say this was all Loverpants' fault.

A few weeks ago, the kids and I had frolicked at a playground in the afternoon and were henceforth requiring sustenance. I was in the kind of mood that one experiences who spends many days in a row with people who basically eat only 4 foods, not 4 food groups but just 4 foods (cereal, fruit, veggie turkey slices, mac n' cheese, rinse and repeat) gets in where she cannot SHE CANNOT. Not anymore. I was feeling faint and wanting to just sit and order from a menu and then for that food to miraculously appear on a tray before me. My stars! I think this might not just be a stardust fantasy, but, lo, I believe such a place actually does exist!

So, my children ventured once more to the magical emporium known as Buffalo Wild Wings, this time with their mother. I remembered that Loverpants had mentioned the kids ate well when he took  them to B-Dub. Soft pretzels and chicken wings and french fries--oh my! As I am a vegetarian, I don't usually go to places whose main export is the fried poultry, n'ah mean? So, this was my maiden voyage to B-Dub.

The place was, as advertised, and you have my full permission to roll your eyes so far back into your skull that you actually gag on them, because I really was happy to be there, n0t because I like sports or beer or chicken, but I like cheap food that my kids will eat. Judge if you must.

We ordered and all was going well. Until...

Until this man who looked to be a waiter because he was wearing a B-Dub jersey sidled up to our table.

He just kept chatting with me. It went something like this:

Hey, how are you guys doing? We're good, thank you!

So...do you guys come here often? Thinking: What is that? A pick-up line for my 6 and 3 year-old? Yeah, buddy. They're regulars here. Never miss a Braves game on the big screen.

What did you order? Thinking: Oh gosh. Is he asking me what I ordered to drink because he thinks I'm a single mom and wants to send me over a pity drink?

Well, I just wanted to tell you about a new position we created here... Thinking: Oh he DEFINITELY thinks I am a single mom and wants to offer me a pity job! Oh this is the worst!

See, so I'm the new guest experience Captain, and it's my job to make sure you're having a great time! Thinking: Ack! He's a cruise director for B-Dub!

So if you want to try a new wing flavor or change the TV channel, just give me a shout, all right? I am so embarrassed. For him. For me. For humanity. 

The good Captain then wrote down his name for me, which, once again, felt like some flirtypants leaving his number for me on the check, call me maybe? Ugh.

Then I looked over at a table of high school kids in their prom attire. And as if going to B-Dub for prom dinner didn't strike me as odd enough, the kids were sitting at one end of the table and their parents were sitting at the other.  I thought that situation seemed very Duggar-style but what do I know? Times, they are a-changin'...Patrons can't order wings without a shaman named John the Guest Experience Captain helping them navigate the menu. High schoolies can't go anywhere without their helicopter parents.

This was all hitting me at once, and so I wondered, dear readers. Seen anything new and exciting lately? Do share....