Dance of the flexible

She was the reigning limbo champion of many a 7th grade CARE dance. Lower the broom and watch girlfriend get her groove back. You're so flexible! her classmates cried.

So. Flexible.

But don't try to make her change her best-laid plans when she was fixing to not have to do bedtime for the kidlets tonight. Did no one take record of her being the chief conductor of bedtime the last two nights? In a row?

Flexible lady, that one.

But, again, did no one notice how longsuffering she was to do her job, not once but two nights? Back to back? And to live amidst this perpetual clusterfluffle of a house without bolting?


Partnering with this inflexible woman is not a 90 minute swedish massage. Partnership with a chronically inflexible partner--it requires a long patience.

But becoming more flexible is a frightening prospect for this inflexible wife. What if others take advantage? What if she is always expected to be flexible? What if flexibility paints her a doormat? Oh sure, that's fine, haha! Why don't you just go ahead and cancel my plans. I don't matter, haha....

The terms of flexibility can be daunting, especially for a woman who grew up with a sibling with autism. Dinner at six o'clock sharp, on the table, or an all-out Rain Man meltdown might ensue. There was rigidity in her upbringing. Trying to stay the course, stay on schedule, not make waves. Be a good big sister, a leader, upstanding. Don't compromise who you are.

But what if compromise is required in life, especially in marriage? What does that look like? Are there equal gains for everyone? Can you make her a guarantee?


The dance of the flexible is one that the woman is learning, first with her right foot and then with her left. She is wobbly, unsure, wanting so much to trust her partner. Slowly she finds...this dance is not all bad. She finds it is harder to bust out and do a solo dance, but together, with her partner, she is stronger and more graceful. Very graceful, the dance of the flexibile.

As she becomes more sure of the rhythm and the steps, the more she practices, the better she becomes. Way out there on the dance floor, she finds others, dancing the dance of the flexible.

Oh but have mercy because being a beginner is still, still so hard.

Anyone else a beginner out here with me?