"Lovey, I have some bad news. And it's about the car." "Okay..." his voice trailed off, wondering what was the damage to the car, since I didn't sound hysterical and therefore probably was uninjured myself.

I explained how the lock on the driver's side had malfunctioned and the car had been hot inside, so, while cranking open the door, the handle had snapped in half.


After assessing the damage in person, Lovey asked, once again, how it had all happened.

"I would have loved to see you cranking that handle with all your might," he said, sucking as much pleasure out of this mishap as possible, "But next time this happens, just open the window and unlock the car from the outside, okay?"

I'll leave you to amuse yourselves as to how long that idea might have taken me to figure out on my own.